Dads and Birth: At the Core of the Experience Empowered Papa Teleseminar
A few days ago, I had a great phone conversation with Joe Valley, founder of Empowered Papa.
Joe is passionate about childbirth education for dads. As certified psychotherapist, Joe brings the worlds of counseling and birth together, coaching expectant fathers on how to become an active participants during pregnancy and childbirth.
Go Joe! In my opinion, this kind of one on one coaching is exactly what the world of birth needs.
Fathers need a guide through pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period just as much as mothers do.
The great thing is, us mothers have a lot of support! We have doulas, female friends who are either pregnancy or have children to talk to, and our childbirth class instructor was/is a woman too.
But who do the dads have to talk to?
If they’re lucky they might have a friend who’s been there and is willing to talk in depth about the process. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that is most likely unlikely.
Joe can help empower your man.
He’s warm, funny and he’s been there before. Nearly three years ago, Joe experienced birth through witnessing and supporting his wife through the home birth of their first child.
I’d believe in Joe’s efforts, so I’d like to share an upcoming event he is hosting with you.
Joe is offering a free teleseminar, “Dads and Birth: At the Core of the Experience.”
(click the link to be taken to the event page)
Here’s what Joe has to say about the event:
“In this free hour long tele-seminar, I will review what I find is valuable about dads at birth, and even illuminate specific practices dads can do throughout pregnancy, birth, and postpartum time. If you are doula or midwife, then you will hear about the dad’s perspective and how you can better collaborate with dads in your services of care. If you are an expectant parent, then you will clarify in your mind what you already know in your gut: that the bond you share in your intimate relationship sets the stage for a strong bond with your baby.
This information is golden!
Register to attend the event by clicking “Going” on the Dads & Birth event page. Then all you have to do is mark your calendar one week from tonight, Thursday, January 19th at 8:00 PM GMT & EST, then call in with your phone.
Tonight I’m saying my blessings for the heart-centered birth workers and all that they do for families.
ALSO: I’m super glad to announce Joe as a new contributor at the Bring Birth Home blog! Read Joe’s first featured article: 19 Ways Dad
Becomes Involved With Home Birth
Have you experienced difficulty getting your spouse on board for your natural childbirth class or home birth? Did they come around? What helped them become more involved and supportive? Share your experience in the comment section below!
0 CommentsBid Farewell To BBH On Facebook. Subscribe To BBH Updates By Email.
I’m closing BBH on Facebook.
In the two years since I started the BBH Facebook page it has organically grown beyond my expectations. I’ve met wonderful people. Many of whom I call friends. I’m proud of what the BBH Facebook page became. I really am.
But it takes way too much time to moderate. There are more reasons behind my decision making for this, and if you subscribe to blog updates via email I’ll explain all my reasons (but that’s the not focus of this post).
BBH on Facebook is a Community
It’s the ultimate resource for women interested in home birth, breast feeding questions and all things birth – comprised mostly of 8000+ women. BBH on Facebook is welcoming to all varieties of people. We’ve created that together. It’s not catty. It’s always been positive.
Part of me is sad to see it go. But I’m really excited for this next chapter not only in my life but also for BBH.
What’s Next?
BBH on Facebook is rolling over into this blog.
Everything that you love most about BBH on Facebook will be on this blog. For example, when “Jenn” has a question about breast feeding, I’ll post it here. When Ashley needs advice about telling her mother-in-law she’s not invited to her home birth, I’ll solicit your thoughts, and you can post them here. This blog will include more guest posts, more reviews and more information about parenting. More of everything, but on my own schedule – as inspiration strikes.
Please subscribe using the form below to be notified of the blog updates. You can unsubscribe at anytime just as you would unlike a Facebook page.
Subscribe to BBH Everything
If you’d like to continue on the BBH journey, please consider subscribing via email (see form below).
I want to keep the “9 Steps to Home Birth Prep” and “Beyond Birth” email newsletters pure to their intention, which means I won’t be emailing them anymore with anything else. So if you’re already subscribed to those newsletters, this is different.
This is the beginning of a new chapter for BBH, and I’d like for you to be a part of it. I realize I will lose many of you, for those of you that subscribe and participate, you’ll find that our relationship will transcend, mature and grow.
Please join me. Subscribe using the form below.
12 Comments19 Ways a Dad Becomes Involved with Homebirth
Birthing a child is an intimate and sacred experience that is a reflection of the love making that conceived the child. Doesn’t it make sense to have that experience in a familiar and safe environment?
For those of us that decide to bring birth home, we take responsibility for the grand entry of our children into this world by involving ourselves with every aspect of birth that might otherwise have been handled by someone else in a medical setting.
More and more homebirth dads are choosing to get involved with many aspects of birth because it makes sense to them and their definition of family. Furthermore, moms are asking for their support.
It made sense to me to get involved in the birth of my son. Also, my wife wanted me to be involved. Who else knew her better than me? Who was there more than anyone else throughout the whole pregnancy time? The benefit of my involvement was that I had increased bonding with my wife and my son, and I count his birth as the most transformative event of my life.
Here are 19 ways dads can positively get involved with the pregnancy, birth, and postpartum time.
PREGNANCY
- Say, “I am a dad.” Say it everyday
- Attend a childbirth education course
- Attend a breastfeeding class
- Ask other dads about their personal experience with birth
- Research birth options with partner
- Watch natural birth videos
- Be present for the sessions with midwife
- Ask compelling questions about birth such as “How can I positively influence the birthing time?”
- Participate in deciding who will be present at the birth
BIRTHING TIME
- Prepare the birth pool if mama wants one
- Organize the supplies requested by midwife
- Believe the process works, a woman’s body knows, a midwife is competent, and the water is safe and effective
- Watch, wait and let the process unfold
POSTPARTUM TIME
- Say, “I am postpartum care-giver.” Say it everyday
- Prepare healthy, hot meals [warm food helps new mama recover faster]
- Provide hot water bottles for mama if the weather is cold
- Be the organizer for houseguests and the duration and frequency of their stay
- Provide assistance in baby’s breastfeeding latch
- Help organize the assistance from family and friends to get all of the household chores done
Joe is an accidental birth junkie since supporting his wife, Andrea, in the homebirth of their son, Sacha. His work as a psychotherapist coincides with his new venture of Empowered Papa where he offers classes, coaching, and ongoing support through his blog. Joe is passionate about fixed gear bikes, running, yoga, and organic foods. He has devoted himself to a heart-centered practice.
Guest Writers, Home Birth Advocacy
2 CommentsHelp Ashley (38 Weeks Pregnant) Tell Her Mother-in-law She’s Not Invited To Her Home Birth
*This is loosely based on a true story, but not entirely true, yet altogether realistic. Names have been changed.
Ashley is 38 weeks pregnant with her 4th.
They’re planning a home birth. Yay! Her and her husband can’t wait.
There is a problem – a bit of a sticky situation with mother-in-law.
She wants to attend the home birth, but her and her husband don’t want her there. And they haven’t told her that yet. (and Ashley’s at 38 weeks!)
Keep reading for the details, and hopefully by the end, you can post your comment with advice for how to handle this situation.
Mother-in-law was a labor and delivery nurse for years. She believes she knows everything about anything considered a medical issue. And she thinks birth is a medical issue.
It was tough when Ashley and her husband told Mother-in-law they were having a home birth this time around.
The first thing she did was ask her son why he wasn’t scared.
Then she proceeded to give her son a lesson on how he should/would have to pull the placenta out! Of all things. (weird, eh)
Mother-in-law knows Ashley has a midwife and doula.
There are some unresolved feeling between Mother-in-law and Ashley and her husband (son).
For starters, Ashley can’t understand why Mother-in-law doesn’t want to learn anything about how “normal birth” works.
Mother-in-law had her feelings hurt at Ashley’s last hospital birth, and wound up storming off in a fuss.
It was a weird scene. Mother-in-law actually tied up the OB’s gown and gave him a back rub right before he was to catch Ashley’s baby. They hadn’t even met one another before. Ashley’s husband attempted to gently ask his mom to back off, but she got upset. Mother-in-law defensively stated that she knew what she was doing because she had worked in Labor and Delivery for so many years.
Crazy logic, eh?!
It gets worse…
Mother-in-law has dragged Ashley’s mother into the equation.
Ashley’s mom will be attending the birth at Ashley and her husband’s request. She has been with Ashley for all of her previous three births. Ashley’s mom has had two babies at home, one unassisted.
Mother-in-law has contacted Ashley’s mom, and asked to ride with her to the birth. She has asked repeatedly without a response.
Ashley and her husband have to tell Mother-in-law that they don’t want her there, but how?
Mother-in-law is sensitive, defensive and self centered. She refuses to listen or reason, and surely doesn’t get the hints.
Ashley and her husband fear that she may not even come see the baby afterward if they handle this wrong.
Leave your comment below:
What would you suggest?
How does Ashley and her husband gently let Mother-in-law know she is not invited to the birth, but very welcome baby is born?
32 CommentsDetermined To Breast Feed With Child Number 3 (Breast Feeding Question)
Jenn is eight weeks away from having child number 3, and determined to breastfeed. She has a few questions that you can probably help with. Read this short post and comment below.
When she had her older daughter, she had no support. Her younger daughter was SEVERELY tongue tied (and pumps didn’t work for her at ALL).
This time around, she’s going to do everything she can to breastfeed.
Jenn has some questions, and I’m asking the BBH community to give her some feedback.
Here are her questions:
- When should Jenn start taking the lactation tincture/drinking the mother’s milk tea, etc?
- She wants to make sure she can produce enough and such. Should she start before her baby is even born?
- What advice do you have for Jenn?
Please leave your comments below.
22 CommentsA Very Namaste Holiday
This Holiday Season, my significant other and I discussed our take on the meaning of the holiday (Christmas in our family).
We’re not “believers,” nor are we worshipers of the Earth (although much closer to the latter than the former).
The questions we asked ourselves were: Where do we fit in? What are we celebrating? What will we tell our children?
Neither of us are the type to go with the flow or follow the herd.
And so a goal became strikingly clear: discover the meaning of _______________ (insert Holiday Title).
This was not something that could be forced, because honestly, doing so would be too easy. I mean, super easy.
See watch:
“When taking into account the entire world full of people, we must consider ourselves incredibly blessed for our modern day conveniences. We live in a home, have running water, food, toilets, food, and a lot of freedom. There are people out there living in huts, sleeping on wooden mats, taking the entire day to ground their food into a meal, washing their few articles of clothes by hand. We are living an abundant life. Thank you ___________ (insert Creator). Amen.”
We needed to delve deeper and get more personal.
Late Christmas Eve – I use this as a reference point since “Christmas” is what I grew up with – I stayed up late to think. I couldn’t have slept if I had wanted to. My mind was a buzz.
Two days before I had purchased Eric’s card. It said Namaste on the cover, surrounded by drawings of beautiful flowering trees. Why would I pluck this card and not one of the plentiful holiday cards on the shelves next door?
Because when I saw the card, and I read “Namaste,” I got an idea. I felt meaning. A meaning that could surely be applied to our every day lives, but better yet, to the holidays.
On that Christmas Eve night, I wrote in the card, directing the words to my amazing family of four.
This is what it said:
“Namaste means: The light in me recognizes the light in you. Which is to say, I see you. I respect you. And I will treat you as my equal, as well as remember that you are your own unique entity. You are light. You are the light of my life and I believe in each of you. This is my prayer. What I believe in. I believe in you, us, family; life.”
I realized in writing this card that I had discovered the meaning. It was such a thrilling moment!
Instantly I imagined reading this card at the dinner table during our prayers. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as my inner voice itself was both found and recognized.
Namaste is my new Merry Christmas.
It is as universal as Happy Holidays, but with much more depth. It explores and gives credit to gratification, love, acceptance, and being a part of the journey. Our journeys.
I’m a baby in the big scheme. I know hardly a thing and want to learn more. I want to question my surroundings and evolve.
I said my peace at our annual Christmas dinner this year. Right after my grandmother recited the old standard, “Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which are about to receive…” When she finished, my family said Amen, (except for me – I never say it out loud I just lip sync) and I stood up. There had to be a voice for the alternative.
I felt anxious, so rather than go off the cuff, I just read the card word for word.
It went over well. My mom said, “nice Katie.” Everyone said Amen and dug in. I let out a sigh of relief and pride.
I did it. Made meaning out of something that has felt hallow for a long time. Namaste is my perfect replacement word/theory, partly because it’s so inclusive. I’m talking to you. Each of you. That’s big and awesome. And frankly, I don’t know much more about the meaning of life than that.
Hope the time you spent with your family was full of love and life.
*not shown: Lucan. He was in Nona’s arms!
p.s. I am writing this post during my “holiday break,” previously mentioned on the BBH Facebook page. During this time off, I’ve reconnected with my creative self! There is so much more to life than Facebook (ha, right?!) and I’m loving living offline. Try it for a couple days. It’s refreshing.
**
Have you reached deeper for a more personalized and self-discovered meaning of the holiday? Share your story in the comments below!
