Sugar Town (Plus Healthy Cookie Recipe!)
by Gabriela Garay, the Picky Foodie
Before my daughter was born, all kinds of ideas inhabited my head.
Everything from, ‘Nobody but me will ever take care of my child!’ to, ‘How can any decent parent let their children watch television?’
Even after I became a mother, I couldn’t believe the things certain people did, said, assumed. Like when a friend emailed me with “when you’re ready to get back into the world as your self and not just a mother.”
WHAT?
When I read her words, my daughter was less than a week old. I was barely ready to let people into my house let alone leave it. And without my child? Fuggetaboutit! Clearly I had chosen the wrong friends!
But as my daughter has grown (and so has her mother), quite a few clichés have started to ring more true. Things like never say never and everything in moderation.
For example, television has crept into our lives, I have hired people to watch my daughter, and yes, I have even enjoyed some me time, alone, as an adult, a woman, a writer, a friend, a wife, a lover.
There is one subject, however, that has remained unchanged: sugar.
Why is it that people who supposedly care about my daughter offer her the cheapest, most processed, ridiculously harmful junk? If you care about her, I snapped at one of my mother’s neighbours a couple of weeks ago, why are you trying to poison her?
It’s only the beginning, I know. The next few years will be rife with piñatas, playdates and birthday cakes. So I turn to you all, beautiful community, and request (ok, beg) of you, not to give up.
Let’s remember that we should live by example, not just for our children, but for the world around us.
Let’s swap recipes for great treats, healthy goodness, desserts (or pooding! as my almost two-year-old calls it), let’s support one another in bringing up our children with food that will sustain and nourish them. Let’s teach them to be “naughty” in ways that don’t poison them, and that food is the best way to create long, healthy lives.
In that spirit, I would like to share a recipe for a new favourite around here.
These cookies were inspired by a post I read at peasandthankyou.com (http://peasandthankyou.com/2012/03/08/caveman-cookies/) — I obsessed about it for days until I found the time to crank on the oven and make my own version (you know when you see a recipe by someone else and immediately have to make it, regardless of the fact that it’s close to midnight and you know you’ll be up in three hours?)
Seeing as we are forever running late, breakfast cookies work well in our family. I love the idea of having something so portable to take along as we sprint out the door. These guys are high in protein, satisfying and delicious at any age.
(note: the main ingredient is almonds, so these are not appropriate for anyone with a tree nut allergy. These cookies are vegan, gluten, refined sugar and soy-free)
Zesty Brekkie Cookies
(makes about two dozen)
- 2 cups soaked almonds (soak overnight in water, drain and rinse before using)
- 3 T ground flax soaked in 3T water for at least 15 minutes (in the fridge)
- 1/3 cup almond butter
- 1/2 cup whole dates, pitted (medjool)
- 1/2 cup date syrup
- Zest of almost an entire Clementine*
- Juice of 1 clementine*
- 1t vanilla extract
- Pinch salt
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
Combine the ground flax with the water, mix well and put in the fridge for at least 15 minutes
Grind the almonds in the food processor until almost like flour.
Add the whole dates and pulse until the are in pieces and well blended
Transfer to a large mixing bowl and add the almond butter, date syrup,
clementine zest and juice, and the vanilla. Mix well.
Add the flax and mix well.
Scoop onto silpat sheet or parchment paper-lined tray and bake for 15 minutes.
Give leftover bowl to excited family members to “clean”
Allow to cool fully before tasting or transferring to an airtight container
Store in the refrigerator
* can be substituted with an orange
As a result of multiple health challenges, Gabriela left a lucrative career in television production to become a Holistic Health Consultant, writer and, most recently, a mother. These days, when she in not blogging about health, working on new and delicious recipes or spending time with her family, Gabriela is leading workshops and writing about nutrition both on and off the plate. She lives in New York City with her husband and baby girl as well as on the web at The Picky Foodie.
Motherhood Revealed Through Loss
Before becoming pregnant, I wasn’t sure if having children was in my future.
It’s not that I didn’t like kids – I did. I just wasn’t sure about a life of domestication and monogamy. I was an artist. A musician. A free spirit. I’d travel. Singin’ in the streets. That sort of thing.
But when I met Eric, ideas about my future started to change.
Slightly at first, and then all at once, everything flipped upside down.
I got (unexpectedly) pregnant. It was Fall, 2007.
It was a shock to my system.
To my whole, (self-written, not inherent) constitution. I was a smoker and a full time coffee drinker. Like, 3 o’clock in the morning at the smokey cafe writing in my journal kind of coffee drinker.
And yet, I rejoiced. I was really excited! Not to mention, surprised that I was excited! Who knew? I didn’t.
Then, just four days or so after finding out, I started bleeding.
Light at first, then more heavily, accompanied by cramping. I had been somewhere between 4-6 weeks along.
The loss hit me hard. Which also surprised me.
I was taken aback for two reasons:
#1: How could I be so upset when just a week prior, having children was nowhere on my radar?
#2: How could I be so upset about this loss when I had only known for less than a week?
Everything had changed.
I began looking at the world in an entirely different way.
Later that week I remember sitting in my car at a traffic light as two teenage parents passed on the cross walk in front of me.
The dad was rollerblading and the mom was pushing the stroller. They looked poor and dirty, and…was I judging them? Hell yes I was.
I felt like the situation was so unfair.
A major injustice had occurred.
Why couldn’t I keep my baby while their’s flourished? I’m a good person. I have a nice car and a clean apartment, a good job, supportive family. Why was this allowed to happen?
I did a lot of writing during that time, trying to manage and cope with my feelings. I’d like to share one with you.
9-26-07
An Understanding: The Unreal Pain
For one brief moment,
I was an aged dandelion.
I was it’s see through white phase:
delicate.
Wind blew stronger
one brief passing moment,
and all my seeds
helicoptered away.
Poof.
Like a soundless picture
of an atom bomb,
it’s destruction all too apparent
even in silence.
Sudden death.
A breeze softly sweeping
like feathers across newborn cheeks.
Like the last exhale that does not return;
stays gone.
And there is nothing I can do.
My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a baby, no matter how far along you were.
In retrospect I can see how valuable an experience my miscarriage was.
I learned a lot from it. I learned how much I wanted to become a mother.
In the Spring of 2008, I rejoiced the coming of a second pregnancy.
I was fearful though that it wouldn’t last, so we told very few people until I was a full three months along.
Today that baby is my beautiful Ella Rose, 3 years old and fit as a fiddle. Her brother is nearly 10 months.
And now, I couldn’t be happier.
When did you realize that you wanted to be a mother? Share your story below!
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Home Birth Questionnaire Featuring Lindsey
When did your journey to home birth begin?
How did you discover home birth?
In highschool I had hoped to become a 
Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) (the only type of midwife I knew about at that time). My mother had several friends who birthed at home, so I was familiar with the idea.
Shortly before I was pregnant with our first, I started reading about natural birth, holistic parenting, etc. and started campaigning to have our first baby naturally and possibly with the assistance of a midwife. My husband was totally freaked out at first – he was on board 100% with the idea of natural birth (his mom had birthed her three children sans drugs), but the thought of not being cared for by a doctor in a hospital was a totally new concept to him.
We opted to meet in the middle and had our first baby at a birth center with a Certified Professional Midwife (CPM).
During my second pregnancy we moved. We began the journey of finding a midwife – it was quite a saga, but God led us to the perfect one! At the time we met our midwife, she had delivered just over 5,000 babies and her stats were amazing. We peppered her with questions and asked a million “what ifs.” By choosing her, we were choosing home birth as she is not associated with a birth center or hospital in our area. Looking back, it’s the best two-fold decision ever – her for our midwife and a home birth for our baby!
Was your partner on board with the idea giving birth at home? (if applicable – perhaps the two of you discovered home birth together or it was the husband/partner’s idea)
Absolutely. By baby #2 my husband was pro-natural birth, pro-midwife, etc. He has never missed one of my prenatal appointments and has become quite the knowledgeable birth assistant through the course of our five births!
How did you find a midwife?
Our first midwife was found via word of mouth. Our second midwife was found almost miraculously – I can’t remember the specifics, but I do remember making a lot of phone calls and weeding my way through the phone interviews and a few personal ones. We were new to the area and she doesn’t advertise.
Are there any specific restrictions or laws in your state that make finding a midwife difficult?
In order to be licensed in the state of PA, you must be a Certified Nurse Midwife. CPM’s practice here, but they are not licensed. We’ve opted to use a CPM over a CNM for some specific reasons. That’s a loaded debate between counties, states, etc.
Describe your relationship with your midwife.
I am so thankful for our relationship! I’ve now used her for four pregnancies and should I ever have another, there’s not even a question in my mind as to whether or not she’d be my care-provider. I trust her entirely with my care and with the care of my babies. She’s thorough, a wealth of knowledge, kind, compassionate, challenging, doesn’t have a problem with telling you how it is, and really a lot of fun!
How did you prepare for your home birth? What class(es) did you take, books did you read, movies, discussions, etc.
For our first birth (at the birth center) we took a 12-week Bradley Method class.
Before all of my births I read, read, read! I read things I may or may not agree entirely with. I immerse myself in stories of other births, stories of pregnancy, various “methods” of relaxing, etc. I have some favorites…Childbirth Without Fear, Ina Mae Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth, Birthing from Within, etc. I talk about birth with friends. I ask questions at my pre-natal appointments. I learn more and more every time!
Did you feel as though you were adequately prepared to give birth at home, or do you wish you had access to more information and/or education before hand?
Absolutely. But I am a self-motivated learner. I do think the American system as a whole fails on preparing women in general for birth. The preparation in my mind starts when they are young! Birth IS natural. Birth IS normal. Birth IS NOT an illness. And, I could continue with my list…
How would you describe the postpartum time period after giving birth at home? What were the pros and cons?
These were different for each baby. I absolutely LOVE being home. Here’s a quick recap of the five:
Baby #1 – He was born at a birth center. We were home within 8 hours of his birth. Due to a placental abruption during his birth, I had a 3rd degree tear that was glued instead of stitched by my choice. Because I needed to heal, I had 5 days of minimal walking, no stairs, and generally sitting on the couch.
Baby #2 – He was born at home. My husband came down with shingles the day after his birth. I didn’t have much of a healthy or slow post-partum recovery. We were new to the area. I didn’t really have any friends in the area. I struggled with post-partum-depression very badly. I wasn’t aware of how badly at the time – lots of hindsight going into this response!
Baby #3 – She was born at home. I put my regular jeans on after her birth. Went to the chiropractor with her when she was about 8 hours old. Had a fantastic recovery and felt great!
Babies #4 and 5 – Twin boys who came very quickly! Baby A was born unassisted (well, Daddy was there to catch!) and Baby B was born about an hour later being greeted by our midwife’s assistants. I was much weaker post the delivery and was perfectly happy to sit in bed and snuggle my babies. Baby A was born with an unexpected cleft lip/cleft palate so our post partum period was a little crazy with the twins. Twin post-partum needs, pros/cons, concerns, etc. are quite different.
2 CommentsWhat Makes A Good Parent?
What makes a good parent?
Likely, if you randomly ask 10 people from various walks of life, you’ll get 10 different answers.
Consider something for a moment…
There is a massive business in the “parenting advice” industry. Ask yourself, what was happening all the centuries before these manuals and guides hit the bookshelves?
Were there less good parents? I doubt it.
How interesting it’d be if we could travel back 150 years, and ask another random 10 parents from various walks of life the same question, “What makes a good parent?”
This leads me to the next question to consider, and this is the point I’m trying to make…
Does reading/consuming a lot of parenting books and materials make you a better parent?
Would be cool for you to leave a comment below. I’ll start.
Here’s my take on the question:
No.
Reading a lot of parenting books does NOT make you a better parent.
But (and this is a big ass but) …
I say that BUYING the parenting books DOES make you a better parent.
Yes, I said “buying the books will make you a better parent.”
Why is this?
It’s intent.
I think intent is what makes a good parent.
If a parent is thinking about the content they need to consume to be a better parent, and follow through with the act of purchasing that content, then… perhaps just read the front and back cover, maybe skim through a couple chapters… I believe they are acquiring the intent and self awareness to be a better parent – even if they don’t actually read the entire book.
Intent makes all the difference.
It’s less about consuming the parenting books. It’s more about being self aware. When you spend an hour in Barnes & Noble in half lotus position reading or skimming through parenting books, and perhaps walk out with the one you think you’d benefit from most, you’re practicing self awareness – ironically, even if you don’t know you are.
It’s simply your intent to learn and grow as a parent that matters most. It’s this intent that pushes the needle in your favor toward being a better parent.
So, don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t read all the parenting books, or keep up with all the parenting blogs, or comment on all the parenting Facebook pages. This is a new phenomenon.
Be hard on yourself if you don’t even bother to expose yourself to those books, blogs and voices that are truly making a difference.
Looking forward to your comments below.
*this post was inspired from a study in the book, Freakonomics
about the author:
Eric Walker is “BBH Dad” ’round these parts. He operates a stay at home “kitchen table” marketing business. Eric LOVES profitable “for purpose” marketing. He’ll be blogging more about your birth business. He wants birth practioners to get paid more for the work they do. He believes, as the birth movement grows, the marketing will have to mature. You can visit his personal blog here.
This Is What I Might Say To Anyone Who Wants A “Birth Business”
No matter what you sell (yourself, your skills, your services, your products, your consulting, etc) you’ll sell it to a person with a very specific problem.
So you must ask yourself…
“What Is Their Problem?”
This will always true, no matter what you sell.
But here’s what happens:
Most people start to think who they’re selling to in terms of demographics. For example, they might think, “My ideal customer is a 25-year-old Portland, Oregon woman who wants to have kids in the next year.”
That may very well be true, especially if what you’re selling revolves around baby planning.
Let’s say you’re a doula, a person who provides non-medical and emotional support during the process of labor.
Your audience largely includes women who have…
- heard of doulas,
- are planning to have children soon, and
- like the idea of having emotional support in addition to medical support (or something like that).
You could probably narrow it down further to those who are likely to favor home birth or birthing at a birth center (or in a hospital, etc).
Narrowing it down doesn’t help you. Narrowing it down actually makes it harder to sell what you offer.
Here’s Why?
Your ideal customer isn’t looking for services for women that fit her description.
She’s looking for help.
That help probably addresses people who don’t fit this demographic at all.
For Example…
What you want to offer is a different kind of experience.
You’re offering comfort. You’re offering emotional support.You’re offering your experience in the birth process to mothers who need it at that time in their lives.
So… the problem you’re addressing is the problem of fear.
Your ideal customer is thinking,
“I’m excited about having children…
…and I’m terrified it’s going to be a bad experience.”
She’s not thinking, “I’m a 25-year-old woman living in Portland, Oregon who is thinking about having children, and when I do, I want it to be a home birth.”
By the way, expectant mothers aren’t the only people who feel that way about birth. Their husbands are scared. Their mothers are nervous. Their sisters are worried too.
Everyone might be skeptical that this woman they care about might not have a good experience of birth. They won’t say it (or they will)… but in the back of their mind, they think about it. A lot.
Your audience isn’t even confined to first-time mothers. Some women turn to doulas even if their first birth was as traditional as they come because they had a bad experience and they’re afraid they will again.
If you target your largest demographic, you risk leaving all those other potential customers out in the cold.
If you speak to exactly what you offer to each one of those demographics, you alienate your largest demographic to get a handful of little ones.
Damned if you do; damned if you don’t. Right?
Wrong: speak to the fear – speak to the problem – and you can talk to all of these people without changing your message one bit.
Which brings me to a little exercise I thought you might want to try:
Identify the Problem
- What’s your audience worried about?
- What’s their biggest fear?
- What’s the problem that your offer addresses?
It could be that they all feel left out of the loop. Or that they don’t know how to solve a particular problem. Or that they’re embarrassed to admit they have this problem.
People in your target audience all have something in common.
Get pencil and paper, and write down every potential fear each of those potential customers have in common.
Then apply accordingly.
Does what you’re doing, whether online or offline or both (I’d recommend both) address that fear?
If it doesn’t, now you know what you can do to start.
***
If you think this blog post might help someone who has a birth business, or a birth professional, share it with them.
about the author:
Eric Walker is “BBH Dad” ’round these parts. He operates a stay at home “kitchen table” marketing business. Eric LOVES profitable “for purpose” marketing. He’ll be blogging more about your birth business. He wants birth practioners to get paid more for the work they do. He believes, as the birth movement grows, the marketing will have to mature. You can visit his personal blog here.
How to Get 10 Minutes of “Me Time.”
This week at the monthly La Leche League meeting, a thought of mine caught me off guard.
We were nearly finished with the formal chat session and were about to shift into play mode when one of the leaders wrapped up the conversation with one final point.
We’d been talking about integrating a second child into the mix – what it meant for our relationship with our first child, breastfeeding, night time sleeping habits, etc.
She said, “And we can’t forget ourselves! We’ve got to take care of us too. Does anyone have any tips on how to do this? How do you find time for yourself during the day?”
I immediately scoffed at the idea. Time for myself? Are you kidding? That doesn’t exist! Tips? Nope. I got nuthin’.
Of course, I didn’t say any of this out loud. I sat the question out and listened to other mothers respond.
One said, “I get up before anyone else does and take a shower. If the kids wake up, my husband can handle it until I get out. It makes me feel so much better to start the day clean.”
Another said something similar, but she woke early for a different reason. Her morning ritual was to write, drink coffee, meal plan or read while the rest of the family slept in.
Good idea, I thought. Only, I really enjoy morning cuddles. I’m more of a night owl. Although, I would really like a hot cup of coffee.
When no one else had a thing to say, I finally spoke up.
“You know, as much as I try to find a moment here or a moment there, most of the time I’m just reminding myself that this time goes by fast, and to just enjoy it. Because it’s super rare for me to get time to myself with a nursling under one and an energetic toddler. Sometimes it’s better just to say I don’t get me time right now, but this phase will pass soon and I’ll have a lifetime of time to myself later. I’m going to be wild during my 50′s!”
There was laughter around the room and a few nods.
The meeting progressed into a playgroup and I hung out with a few of my favorite locals.
Later that day, I thought back on what I had said.
Was my situation really that dire? Was I so hopeless to think quality me time was impossible?
Just to prove myself wrong, I devised a little experiment (and it worked).
I took the kids out to the porch with a few toys. Walked across and angled the gravity chair toward the sun and parked it. I made an agreement with myself that unless someone really needed something, (which was unlikely at the moment as both kids were fed, dry and well-rested) that I wasn’t going to get up.
Heck, I wasn’t even going to open my eyes (I kept them open long enough to capture these shots).
It worked! I got somewhere around 10 minutes of peace. The sunshine of my face felt amazing. I counted it as “me time,” and it felt great. Do it! Get it in while you can. It’s refreshing.
I realized it all comes down to re-framing thoughts. I could have sat in that chair and complained – said it wasn’t me time, because the me time I want is to be alone at a coffee shop with my laptop writing all day.
As soon as I told myself, ‘this is me time right now,’ that is what it became. We believe what we tell ourselves. Sometimes all it takes is a change in perspective.
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