Jenn is eight weeks away from having child number 3, and determined to breastfeed. She has a few questions that you can probably help with. Read this short post and comment below.

When she had her older daughter, she had no support. Her younger daughter was SEVERELY tongue tied (and pumps didn’t work for her at ALL).

This time around, she’s going to do everything she can to breastfeed.

Jenn has some questions, and I’m asking the BBH community to give her some feedback.

Here are her questions:

• When should Jenn start taking the lactation tincture/drinking the mother’s milk tea, etc?
• She wants to make sure she can produce enough and such. Should she start before her baby is even born?
• What advice do you have for Jenn?

Please leave your comments below.

My daughter and I practice extended breastfeeding.

For her entire life, I have confidently nursed her in various places under various circumstances.

I have nursed her when she’s hungry, sick, hurt, scared or when she just felt like being close to me.

I haven’t had many uncomfortable or rude NIP (nursing in public) episode, and for the most part, we have felt a lot of support from family members and friends during our journey together.

I have loved providing nourishment and energy to my daughter by nursing her.

We’re warding off disease and cancer by doing what has come naturally for us! Hooray!

But with all this happy, loving talk, there is a dark side of extended breastfeeding. Oh maybe that’s too dramatic. Let me explain.

Five months ago my second child was born.

I tandem nurse. 

It honestly hasn’t been as tough as I imagined it would on me.

Sure, it takes of a lot of my time and energy, but I’ve really enjoyed those moments when nursing both of my children at the same time. They look into each other’s eyes, laugh together and touch each other’s faces and hands. Adorable!

One thing I immediately noticed when breastfeeding the two of them was how much stronger of a latch Ella had than little newborn Lucan.

Like, wow. Big difference.

All of a sudden – this literally happened in a single moment – I felt annoyed by Ella’s nursing. It almost hurt. And maybe this is a very primal instinctive sort of feeling, but if I had to choose between which child to nurse first, I wanted to go straight for Lucan. It seemed like he needed me more. Ella could go eat food. Right?

Wrong. Big, fat wrong!

As much as I’d like to think that Ella could be sustained on food alone, she doesn’t want to stop nursing any time soon. And I found, as well as read, mom continuously going to new baby first can cause resentment.

While half of me is annoyed, the other part of me wants to continue nursing her until she wants to stop (this is called child-lead weaning).

I’m feeling very conflicted.

So I think the best thing to do is change very little, by teeny tiny  increments. Ways that are invisible to the eye, but make me feel a bit better.

A few things I’ve done to ease my mind so Ella can continue nursing.

I’ve shortened the length of time we nurse.

Ella could nurse and nurse. But I’ve spoken with  her about my milk coming out, her drinking it, and when the milk stops, we’re all done. This works about 75% of the time!

Lucan and Ella take turns nursing, rather than at the same time.

This keeps me from noticing the difference between the way they nurse. And I can focus on one child at a time.

When Ella gets hurt, we hug or cuddle instead of nursing.

I completely understand the longing to nurse for comfort when in pain. But she falls down/stubs her toe/gets hair pulled by little brother too often to nurse every time! So we hug. I hold her close and stroke her hair. This works about…50% of the time (maybe a little less!). We’re getting there.

Finding & creating special alone time with Ella to nurse.

Although I haven’t had any embarrassing ”incidents” nursing publicly, it’s no secret that most people are not very comfortable seeing a toddler nursing. I try to pick and choose the times when I do NIP, and honestly, there are just some places, even at the homes of relatives, when I feel better waiting or taking Ella into another room. This creates a more enjoyable, peaceful environment for both of us, and a great way to reconnect.

At the end of the day, I try to remember that this time is fleeting.

There are more benefits to extended nursing than nutrition and physical health – breastfeeding is good for our souls!

The day will come when Ella no longer wants to nurse, and my heart will break over it. So I’m going to give it my all, and the best to my daughter while I still can. If I can, I will.

And my will is strong!

First Nap

Fussy, his back arches in rebellion
against the nylon constraints.
A shriek cry that startles me -
interrupting the click-clack
of keyboard sentences to friends.

He needs me.

Holding him I realize
no patting of the back,
no whispering in ears
will do any good right now.

My boy is tired.

We lay down in bed,
my overflowing breast
lays beside his tiny face -
I can hear him gulping.
Remember this rhythmic sound.

Looking down,
I myself am drowsy
in this milk-drunk state.
I have never been as important;
my duty is his survival.

I am needed.

A drip at the corner of his mouth
turn into a stream down his cheek
and that is when I fully realize
he has fallen asleep.

I began the process of night weaning my two and a half year old daughter two weeks ago.

Night weaning is a bitch! Emotionally and physically painful.

However, don’t let this deter you from night weaning. There are, as  I will explain, both challenges and rewards for night weaning.

I encourage the process.

I’ll begin with the why, the  how and move on from there with the details of our experience.

Why night wean?

I never thought to night wean Ella until Lucan was born.

I didn’t have a strong enough reason.

Although I wasn’t a big fan of waking up several times a night to nurse Ella back to sleep, I knew cutting out breastfeeding would be tough.

A battle even. Frankly, I didn’t want to face the confrontation.

Ella loves her “mum-mums.”

The first month of tandem night nursing went fine.

I laid on my back and had one child on each side of my body, nursing alternatively or at the same time. I got a fair amount of sleep and didn’t view our routine as an issue.

But then…things changed.

Lucan was no longer content to snuggle in the crook of my arm or lay on my chest. He craved autonomy. His go-to-sleep position became laying on his side next to me.

This presented a problem.

Ella began waking-up to my back in the middle of the night.

If I was nursing Lucan back to sleep, or needed to carefully peel my skin from his baby hug hold, Ella would get restless, impatient, and ultimately break-down into a fit of hysteria.

This usually woke-up Lucan.

What is a mother to do with two crying babies?

Not a pretty picture. I knew something had to change (and it wasn’t Lucan).

The Method:

The first step was talking to Ella about our night weaning plan.

When I explained that we weren’t going to be having mum-mums at night anymore, she inquisitively asked, “whyyyy?”

Good. She was listening.

I answered, “because night time is for sleeping. You can have mum-mums when you fall asleep at night. At night we’ll cuddle and sleep. Then, when the sun comes up, and it’s morning, you can have mum-mums again!”

She may have said okay, or she may have said nothing at all. But whether or not she understood, she heard me, and that’s all that mattered. I didn’t want to spring it on her out of the blue.

The Plan:

Bedtime routine would begin normally – Ella could nurse to sleep.

When Ella woke up, I’d quietly and calmly tell her she could have mum-mums in the morning, then suggest we cuddle.

Good, in theory, but …

Not only did whining, screaming and kicking ensue, so did a head-butt to the mouth, resulting in a bloody, puffy lip (mine, not hers).

Although it was tough, we got through the night without nursing. The key was soothing Ella while not giving in.

The second, third, fourth AND fifth nights were similar to the first (save the head-butting incident).

Ella awoke in the middle of the night 2-3 times, as usual pre-weaning, asking for mum-mums. And each time she was denied, (when I calmly told her she could have mum-mums in the morning and suggested cuddling) she’d break down.

To prevent from waking everyone, I would take Ella into the living room.

We’d sit on the couch until she calmed down. I wouldn’t let her back in the bedroom until she could take a deep breath and stop crying. Walking back into the bedroom, I always make sure to hold her hand, saying, “we’ll cuddle in bed honey.”

The 3 keys to night weaning success: that mom provides a calm, assertive energy, has patience and acts consistency.

If you’re in it to win it, follow this advice.

• Without assertiveness, you’ll be wishy-washy and won’t get the message across that you mean business. Make sure your energy remains calm.
• Without patience, you will nearly die. Seriously.
• And without consistency, your child will be confused. You can’t tell him/her that you don’t nurse anymore at night only to give in the next night unless you want to fail miserably.

Present Day:

Our nightly trials nearly mimicked each other night after night until the pattern broke. Ella woke up just after 1, 3 and 5 for the first five days.

Then she woke up at 2:30 and 5:45.

Then at 3:15 and 6:15…

and then finally, she slept through the night until 6, two nights in a row. Hallelujah!!

If we can do it, you can do it too. Follow your heart, beat to your own drum, and good luck!

p.s. this has been my experience and I in no way feel or mean to come across as “my way or the high-way.” Check out Dr. Jay Gordon for attachment parenting night weaning tips.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week from Kaitlin Rose of Bring Birth Home.

I am celebrating World Breastfeeding Week by tandem-nursing my 2.5 year old and 1 month old. For more breastfeeding information and inspiration on BBH, visit our section dedicated to the subject here: Breastfeeding on BBH

How are you celebrating? Leave a comment below!

Breastfeeding two children has been pretty amazing.

Ella had been nursing strong while I was pregnant, but within the first two months, I began producing far less milk. She continued to breastfeed nonetheless, and in turn began eating more solid foods.

We discussed sharing milk with the baby. Ella understood one “mum-mum” was for her, and the other would be for her baby brother or sister. I’m pleased to share the results of this conversation held true to plan.

When Lucan was born, Ella nursed more than ever.

First tandem nurse!

She helped my milk come in so fast! Lucan gained near to a pound in a week. And he wasn’t the only one gaining weight.

Ella was never a big eater, and rather picky about the foods she chose to put down. Since drinking more of my highly nutritious back-in-supply breast milk, Ella has gained much more weight. She has cut back eating solid foods almost entirely, but is obviously thriving. The wonders of mother’s milk!

Are you a tandem nurser? How has your experience been? Please share in the comments below!