This one tip will reveal how to do whatever you want.
Here’s the deal:
I’ve been watching mamas get sad, upset and downright pissed off too often and for too long.
Time for this nonsense to stop. It’s totally unnecessary. And this is a choice we can make today.
And we all know breastfeeding is NOT inappropriate.
Neither are photos of birth. Or placentas. Or nakie bums.
If you haven’t figured out what I’m talking about yet, let me spell it out for you, and I’ll provide the perfection solution too!
Problem: Facebook deletes breastfeeding photos, birthing photos and sometimes placenta (?) photos.
Solution: Post photos on your own turf.
Description: Mark Zuckerberg owns Facebook. We do not. He makes the rules there. We do not. Sure, you can rant, rave, get mad, contact the local papers, perform a breastfeeding rally online or off.
And that’s fine.
If you want to spend your time trying to change the establishment, go at it. Good for you. Not going to stop you. I’ll even clap standing.
It’s so much easier.
No headache. No heartbreak. No getting mad at whichever “friend” reported your gorgeous, natural photo.
Take charge of your photos. Own it. Post without fear.
See, when you’re sharing a status update, posting a photo or sharing a video, you’re telling a story.
Solve this conundrum and start your own blog.
Here’s my example on Tumblr – a SUPER easy blogging platform that literally takes a few minutes to set up.
So post away friends!
Let it be nude! Show off your nipples! Heck, you can even share your birth photos. IT’S YOUR SITE.
You really can do whatever you want.
Be free, beautiful!
p.s. the best practice is to buy your own domain name, (or url) too – like I’ve done here with BringBirthHome.com. I haven’t done so yet with the Tumbrl blog, but plan to. For now the domain name is KaitlinRoseBlog.Tumbrl.com. That’s the ultimate form of ownership. You pay a small annual fee.
These eyes know and feel so much. Oh my big girl…
Three months ago, I wrote a post about practicing extended breastfeeding (even when it hurts).
I described my desire to continue breastfeeding, which included tandem nursing, my active toddler until she decided to self-wean (self-lead weaning).
We were ready.
Although if I left it up to Ella, she could have continued breastfeeding for another year, I’m sure.
And yet, I could tell it would actually be healthier for Ella’s psyche not to nurse anymore (I wonder if saying that is going to get in in trouble with extended breastfeeding advocates?). Alas, I know my daughter.
It’s hard to describe exactly. In fact, I’m sure I could do it no justice. But mum-mums were becoming more of a source of soothing, and while I agree that nursing is a fabulous way to sooth a child when they get hurt or are sick, are frustrated or tired out, I began to see that Ella wasn’t learning any of her own self-soothing strategies.
She was waking the whole family up in the morning asking to nurse. This really bothered us when Lucan was still sleeping.
During the day, if she would ask to nurse and it wasn’t a good time, LOOK OUT. Scary tantrum.
I have carefully supported Ella in this transition.
We started out just nursing less. Got down to three times a day – upon waking, in the afternoon at nap, and to bed. This went on for a week.
Then, I cut out all nursing except for night time (just before sleeping).
I thought doing that would be rough. Really rough.
But amazingly, Ella has been great. A little more emotional, but totally fine.
A mother knows, I swear.
She’s eating a lot more food (she’d never been a big eater), falling asleep in the afternoon by cuddling with me, and she’s even started forgetting to nurse at night now.
I was giving my children a LOT of my body.
My space, my inner energy, my milk. As grateful as I was for the experience, I was really tired out, and had a hard time keeping up (I’m currently working on getting back up to an average weight after falling quite underweight).
I’m watching my little girl playing right now…and I’m amazed at the leaps and bounds she has grown over the past few weeks. It’s a melancholy feeling, of course. As relieved as I am, I could just bawl my eyes out.
Mamas who have weaned/whose children have self-weaned, can you feel me on that? Share your experiences below. I’d love to hear your stories.
Jenn is eight weeks away from having child number 3, and determined to breastfeed. She has a few questions that you can probably help with. Read this short post and comment below.
When she had her older daughter, she had no support. Her younger daughter was SEVERELY tongue tied (and pumps didn’t work for her at ALL).
This time around, she’s going to do everything she can to breastfeed.
Jenn has some questions, and I’m asking the BBH community to give her some feedback.
Here are her questions:
Please leave your comments below.
For her entire life, I have confidently nursed her in various places under various circumstances.
I have nursed her when she’s hungry, sick, hurt, scared or when she just felt like being close to me.
I haven’t had many uncomfortable or rude NIP (nursing in public) episode, and for the most part, we have felt a lot of support from family members and friends during our journey together.
I have loved providing nourishment and energy to my daughter by nursing her.
We’re warding off disease and cancer by doing what has come naturally for us! Hooray!
But with all this happy, loving talk, there is a dark side of extended breastfeeding. Oh maybe that’s too dramatic. Let me explain.
It honestly hasn’t been as tough as I imagined it would on me.
Sure, it takes of a lot of my time and energy, but I’ve really enjoyed those moments when nursing both of my children at the same time. They look into each other’s eyes, laugh together and touch each other’s faces and hands. Adorable!
One thing I immediately noticed when breastfeeding the two of them was how much stronger of a latch Ella had than little newborn Lucan.
Like, wow. Big difference.
All of a sudden – this literally happened in a single moment – I felt annoyed by Ella’s nursing. It almost hurt. And maybe this is a very primal instinctive sort of feeling, but if I had to choose between which child to nurse first, I wanted to go straight for Lucan. It seemed like he needed me more. Ella could go eat food. Right?
Wrong. Big, fat wrong!
As much as I’d like to think that Ella could be sustained on food alone, she doesn’t want to stop nursing any time soon. And I found, as well as read, mom continuously going to new baby first can cause resentment.
While half of me is annoyed, the other part of me wants to continue nursing her until she wants to stop (this is called child-lead weaning).
I’m feeling very conflicted.
So I think the best thing to do is change very little, by teeny tiny increments. Ways that are invisible to the eye, but make me feel a bit better.
I’ve shortened the length of time we nurse.
Ella could nurse and nurse. But I’ve spoken with her about my milk coming out, her drinking it, and when the milk stops, we’re all done. This works about 75% of the time!
Lucan and Ella take turns nursing, rather than at the same time.
This keeps me from noticing the difference between the way they nurse. And I can focus on one child at a time.
When Ella gets hurt, we hug or cuddle instead of nursing.
I completely understand the longing to nurse for comfort when in pain. But she falls down/stubs her toe/gets hair pulled by little brother too often to nurse every time! So we hug. I hold her close and stroke her hair. This works about…50% of the time (maybe a little less!). We’re getting there.
Finding & creating special alone time with Ella to nurse.
Although I haven’t had any embarrassing ”incidents” nursing publicly, it’s no secret that most people are not very comfortable seeing a toddler nursing. I try to pick and choose the times when I do NIP, and honestly, there are just some places, even at the homes of relatives, when I feel better waiting or taking Ella into another room. This creates a more enjoyable, peaceful environment for both of us, and a great way to reconnect.
There are more benefits to extended nursing than nutrition and physical health – breastfeeding is good for our souls!
The day will come when Ella no longer wants to nurse, and my heart will break over it. So I’m going to give it my all, and the best to my daughter while I still can. If I can, I will.
And my will is strong!