Breastfeeding, Guest Writers

Mother is Best

7 Comments 02 December 2010

Breastfeeding is amazing.

There’s nothing else quite like it in the mother-baby relationship.

It’s nutrition, protection, warmth, bonding, comfort and love all wrapped up in one simple act.

To think of all the wonderful things a mother can give her child just by feeding from the breast, it’s staggering the kinds of benefits that can be reaped from such a thing.

Breastfeeding takes on a far bigger task than just filling a baby’s belly. It contributes greatly to neurological, immunological, digestive and social development. Just by sucking on the nipple, a baby receives a major boost to her overall health, before any milk ever gets in the mouth.

Breastfeeding is a go-to for any problem a baby might have.

Nighttime fussiness, teething, illness, injury, emotional distress and a lot of other things can be soothed by simply nursing.

And while breastfeeding might come with a special set of issues, the amount of convenience it provides can make up for it. Sleeping longer, staying snuggled up warm with baby when it’s cold out, no exorbitant expenses, nothing to clean, no worrying about fetching a bottle or warming a bottle up, less air bubbles in baby’s tummy and less tummy upset overall too!

As long as baby is with mama, there’s no worrying about how to feed. Breastfeeding really is amazing.

I don’t breastfeed.

On October 4th of this year, I had a baby girl and she has never been breastfed.

The exact reasons as to why are unimportant. This isn’t about what happened or what I should have done or still be doing. For now, I have made the choice to pump my milk, though I also suffer from low milk supply. The keyword here is that I suffer from it.

I suffer from not breastfeeding.

At the start of my pregnancy, I set my goal for a year.

At 6 months though, I would wean to a bottle and pump. As time went on and I learned more about breastfeeding, I ended my pregnancy with visions of breastfeeding a toddler, her happily nursing away for two, maybe three years, maybe even more.

I was in love with the idea of nursing.

By the time my baby girl reached a week old, she still hadn’t latched.

We both spent hours upon hours crying.

It took me a while to admit, but I finally came to terms with the fact that I had postpartum depression and it was almost entirely related to my failure to breastfeed.

While no one was telling me I had failed, I believed it was my failure. And every time she drank from a bottle, it tore me up inside. It killed me that I wanted so badly to breastfeed and couldn’t, but there are so many women out there who think nothing of breastfeeding and could do it with little effort.

Everything about it was heartbreaking and I became embarrassed by it, ashamed that I couldn’t feed her from the breast.

I was afraid to be seen in public using a bottle, couldn’t bear the idea of being seen as one of those mothers.

But that was a horrible attitude to have. What if one of those mothers were just like me? What if they were just as distraught about bottle feeding as I was? Why did it even matter?

After realizing I was in a very deep pit that only I could haul myself out of, I sought out help from the internet and was blessed to find MOBI, an online support group for women with breastfeeding problems, many of whom don’t breastfeed at all.

It was then that I knew
for certain that not breastfeeding my baby wasn’t the end of the world.

It was also then that I found out just how common it is for women to not be able to breastfeed. It was then that I knew I was very far from being alone and there were women out there taking it even harder than me.

A few things became abundantly clear: sometimes, no matter how hard you try, how long you try for, how much help and support you get, how many tools and tricks you utilize, it just doesn’t work out.

It is not the end of the world.

Motherhood is not defined by any one act and the more important thing every mother can give her baby is love.

For me and my baby girl, the mantra is “Mother is best,” not the breast.

Every time I pump my milk, I’m pouring my heart out for her, giving every bit of my love not because it’s my milk, but because it is all the effort, time and pain I go through for her. The simple fact that I want to give her the best is enough to declare that I am not a failure as a mother.

Giving your all to your baby is all it takes to be a good mother, regardless of whether or not your parenting plans work out.

Maybe you have severe back problems and can’t wear your baby in a sling. Maybe you have a sleep disorder and can’t snuggle with her at night. Maybe you just don’t have the time and patience to dedicate to elimination communication. Or the one many women can relate to: despite all of the work and research you put into having a natural birth, you ended up with a c-section or heavily intervened birth. Sometimes, things just don’t work out and it really is ok.

There are so many other things you can give your baby every day that more than make up for any perceived shortcoming by not having those things work out as planned.

Giving her love, affection and attention, cuddling and rocking her to sleep, singing and dancing with her when she fusses, playing silly games with your fingers and face to make her smile; these are all things that comprise a wonderful mother.

If you’re pregnant now, just had a baby or trying for one, always remember to give yourself a break. It’s great to plan for things, but reality doesn’t always work out how you want it to.

In the end giving your baby the best in life is all about loving her. Nothing can beat that.

**********************************************************************************

My name is Cassandra. I’m a SAHM with an October baby. My husband and I were both raised in traditional American environments, but after a lot of research during pregnancy, found ourselves drawn to the attachment parenting and holistic lifestyle. We love learning and growing as first time parents right along with our wonderful baby girl.

Attachment Parenting, Babywearing, Breastfeeding, Co-Sleeping/Bed-Sharing, Home Birth Advocacy, Home Birth Safety, Motherhood, Pregnancy

The Best Advice the BBH Community Can Offer

2 Comments 19 November 2010

Whenever I have a question or need advice, I go straight to the Bring Birth Home community.

On the BBH Facebook page, there are over 4,500 experienced friends and fans, ready and willing to share their experiences.

The only problem with all this great advice being on Facebook is it can easily get lost in the feed, never to be found again!

Which is why I took the time to track down a few of those precious questions so you can read the tremendous advice these women (and men) had to give.

Aren’t a fan of Bring Birth Home on Facebook yet? Become a fan!

(Click on the titles below to be taken to the answers)

Did you get enough help after giving birth?

Did you have older children at your home birth? What did you do to prepare them for the birth? How did that work out?

How did you *know* you wanted to hire your midwife?

What do you wish you would have known or could have been more prepared for before giving birth at home for the first time?

Bring Birth Home on Facebook is a great way to find like-minded mamas to talk to, connect with and gain insights from.

Feel free to ask them your questions. It can be hard to find support for your “off the wall” choices – that is what the BBH community is for!

Attachment Parenting, Babywearing, BBH Dad, Birth Experience, Breastfeeding, Co-Sleeping/Bed-Sharing, Home Birth Advocacy, Home Birth Safety, Motherhood, Pregnancy

Navigating the Bring Birth Home Blog – A Road Map

2 Comments 26 October 2010

When you visit a blog, and you take a look around, one thing looks pretty familiar from site to site – the sidebar.

The sidebar was created to help us navigate a blog or website.

While the categories, popular posts, news feed subscriptions, and archives might do a good service, it can still be rather challenging to navigate the blog, especially if there have been a lot of posts.

I’ve recently noticed that there are some gems of articles hidden within the Bring Birth Home Blog.

I wonder if our readers are finding them…because sometimes they’re hiding behind the “Older Entries” button at the bottom of a section.

Let’s face it, who likes to click and click around a site, spending more time searching for a particular article than reading?

That is why I have created this post - to create a clear and easy to follow road map, (think of it as a list of the Chapters at the beginning of a book!) for you to navigate the Bring Birth Home Blog all the easier. Now you’ll know just what you’re getting under each category.

Bookmark this post to get back to!

Why Birth Experience Matters Series

Description: A ten part series that describe exactly why birth experience matters to both mom and baby. The first half of the series tackles Birth Management and Intervention. The second is all about Creating a Peaceful Birth Experience.

Part One

Part Two

Pregnancy

The BBH Dad

Home Birth Safety

Home Birth Advocacy

Breastfeeding

Babywearing

Bedsharing/Co-sleeping

Motherhood

BBH Video Blog

The Bring Birth Home Store

Have you purchased any BBH logo merchandise? Or maybe you need some supplies for birth or just after birth? We have partnered with Mama Goddess Birth Shop to bring you nursing supplies and home birth kits!

Good Reads & Movies

I will be adding to this post as more articles are added! (and as I organize some of the messiness within this blog!)

Attachment Parenting, Babywearing, Breastfeeding, Co-Sleeping/Bed-Sharing, Guest Writers, Home Birth Advocacy, Motherhood, Pregnancy

Applying the Law of Intention and Desire – Bring Birth Home Expands

2 Comments 05 September 2010

This morning before breakfast, I picked up Deepak Chopra’s, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and opened it to a random page.

I would like to share with you the message I was given on the page I chose.

**

Applying the Law of Intention and Desire

I will put the Law of Intention and Desire into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps:

1)  I will make a list of all my desires. I will carry this list with me wherever I go. I will look at this list before I go into my silence and meditation. I will look at it before I go to sleep at night. I will look at it when I wake up in the morning.

2) I will release this list of my desires and surrender it to the womb of creation, trusting that when things don’t seem to go my way, there is a reason, and that the cosmic plan has designs for me much grander than even those that I have conceived.

3) I will remind myself to practice present-moment awareness in all my actions. I will refuse to allow obstacles to consume and dissipate the quality of my attention in the present moment. I will accept the present as it is, and manifest the future through my deepest, most cherished intentions and desires.

by Deepak Chopra

**

My intention with Bring Birth Home is to supply women interested in home birth with the information and support they are looking for while traveling the journey of informed birth.

While birthing at home is a prominent passion in my life, there are many others – some of which I have written about here on this blog, and some I have not (yet).

In order to fulfill and bring light to those other passions, Bring Birth Home is in the process of transitioning into something more expansive.

This includes broadening the subjects discussed at the blog and at BBH on Facebook and Twitter.

Several home birthing and attachment parenting mothers have shown an interest in becoming guest bloggers at Bring Birth Home.

They will be writing to you, sharing their experiences as they have learned how to become gentle parents and their tales of nursing, bed-sharing and elimination communication.

Others will describe their journey to home birth and the pleasant surprises and challenges they encountered along the way.

You’ll hear from women who gave birth at home after previous cesarean sections, women who were born at home and gave birth to their children at home, as well as mothers who transferred to the hospital after planning to birth at home.

As I take the journey to uncover and actualize the many passions in my life, I hope to capture that growth by blogging at Bring Birth Home as well.

So don’t worry, I’m not going away! Just learning new things about other things (I’ll keep you up to date on my adventures).

In the meantime, there are guest posts waiting to be cued. Watch out for them this coming week and until then, have a great Labor Day weekend!

p.s. make sure you don’t miss a single spectacular guest post! Sign up to receive email updates featuring the captivating and wise stories of women as they experience birth and motherhood in a holistic way!

Babywearing, Breastfeeding, Guest Writers, Home Birth Advocacy, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Reviews

Bring Birth Home Wants YOU! Guest Bloggers Wanted

5 Comments 31 August 2010

Bring Birth Home is looking for guest blogging mamas!

Are you interested in sharing
your passion for home birth, breastfeeding, baby-wearing or other attachment parenting issues on Bring Birth Home?

This is your chance to become a part of the BBH guest blogging team is here.

What we’d like to see at BBH:

  • Inspirational, educational home birth informationif it’s pro-home birth, it’s a go.
  • Babywearing posts - this can be your personal experience wearing your baby and/or your favorite baby carriers and slings. Story or review.
  • Book reviewsshare your favorite pregnancy and/or childbirth preparation book with an audience of captivated mothers to be. They’re looking for first hand experience!
  • Home Birth After Cesareanhow empowering! Tell us your story!
  • Breastfeedingdo you love breastfeeding? Are you practicing extended breastfeeding? What have been your challenges? Favorite memories? Tips for new moms?
  • From hospital to homedid you have a hospital birth before a home birth? Share your story with us and describe how you made the decision to birth at home. Please feel free to compare your experiences.
  • Bed-sharing - do you share your bed with your child(ren)? Was this planned or did it just happen? How do you practice safe bed-sharing?
  • Home birth transfer storiesyou were planning a home birth but transferred to the hospital. It happens. There are women out there wanting to connect with other women who have transferred from home to hospital. Sharing your story can be very healing.
  • Gentle parentinghow are you raising your children in a non-disciplinary way? What resources have you found to expand communication and cooperation within your family in a peaceful way?
  • Elimination Communicationwhat has been your experience? We want to know!
  • Vaccinationswhat is your stance? No vacc, selective or different schedule?

If this sounds like fun, Bring Birth Home would love to have you on board.

You don’t have to have your own blog when you can use Bring Birth Home as your platform!

Please email Kaitlin at KaitlinRose@BringBirthHome.com for a nice conversation and further instruction.

Breastfeeding

A Letter to Ella – “The Joy of Nursing”

4 Comments 04 August 2010

To celebrate World Breastfeeding Week, I am going to write my daughter, Ella Rose, a letter. I’m going to tell her what a joy nursing her has been, and how I never imagined it would have such a deep impact on me, her, and our relationship as a whole.

Dear Ella,

Hi baby cakes.

I’m writing you this letter to let you know how special breastfeeding you has been for me.

When I found out you were growing in my belly, I felt so excited! Suddenly there was so much to look forward to, and a lot of work to do to prepare for your arrival.

A few things were very important to me right away.

For one, I started taking very good care of myself. I ate really healthy foods, which was important because what I ate made it’s way to you in my belly!

I took my time with daily activities and marveled at the shape of my stomach getting bigger and bigger. It was getting big because you were growing big inside me!

I began day dreaming about what kind of mother I would be like. Two things I planned to do were http://bringbirthhome.com/birth-at-home/ella-rose-born-at-home/ and breastfeeding.

Both of those things happened.

It was such a wonderful experience welcoming you into the world at home.

After you were born, you were placed on top of my chest. My body was your first bed inside and outside of the womb.

I feel honored to be your mother.

That feeling has grown through the months, your first year of your life, to now. Every day I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. Your daddy says that to me sometimes. Isn’t that sweet?

Because I stay at home with you, rather than going back to work, we have shared some very intimate times together.

I am always here when you need me. You’ve learned to tell me when you’re hungry by saying, “mama!” so full of anticipation.

We sit down or lie down together, and you fill your stomach with the milk from my breasts and get nice and full.

Do you remember how we’ve looked at each other? How we have gazed into each others eyes? I cherish those moments and hold the memories close to my heart.

You are such a sweet soul, my darling girl.

Your love is tender and your heart is kind. You are brave and adventurous. I admire you.

I have watched you race away after a meal with a different hunger – one to learn the wonder of the world. It leaves me speechless every time.

Nursing you has surprised me in wonderful ways.

There were no expectations set for what was to be. But I can say now, I am so grateful for our success.

Watching your legs become strong, your stomach become full and your hair grow long is a testament to the miraculous way mothers feed their young. We did it!

Thank you for teaching me this very important and sacred lesson, Ella.

You have taught me so much about patience, understanding, and love.

I Love You SO Much!

Your Mother

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