Birthing a child is an intimate and sacred experience that is a reflection of the love making that conceived the child. Doesn’t it make sense to have that experience in a familiar and safe environment?

For those of us that decide to bring birth home, we take responsibility for the grand entry of our children into this world by involving ourselves with every aspect of birth that might otherwise have been handled by someone else in a medical setting.

More and more homebirth dads are choosing to get involved with many aspects of birth because it makes sense to them and their definition of family. Furthermore, moms are asking for their support.

It made sense to me to get involved in the birth of my son. Also, my wife wanted me to be involved. Who else knew her better than me? Who was there more than anyone else throughout the whole pregnancy time? The benefit of my involvement was that I had increased bonding with my wife and my son, and I count his birth as the most transformative event of my life.

Here are 19 ways dads can positively get involved with the pregnancy, birth, and postpartum time.

PREGNANCY

• Say, “I am a dad.” Say it everyday
• Attend a childbirth education course
• Attend a breastfeeding class
• Ask other dads about their personal experience with birth
• Research birth options with partner
• Watch natural birth videos
• Be present for the sessions with midwife
• Ask compelling questions about birth such as “How can I positively influence the birthing time?”
• Participate in deciding who will be present at the birth

BIRTHING TIME

• Prepare the birth pool if mama wants one
• Organize the supplies requested by midwife
• Believe the process works, a woman’s body knows, a midwife is competent, and the water is safe and effective
• Watch, wait and let the process unfold

POSTPARTUM TIME

• Say, “I am postpartum care-giver.” Say it everyday
• Prepare healthy, hot meals [warm food helps new mama recover faster]
• Provide hot water bottles for mama if the weather is cold
• Be the organizer for houseguests and the duration and frequency of their stay
• Provide assistance in baby’s breastfeeding latch
• Help organize the assistance from family and friends to get all of the household chores done

Joe is an accidental birth junkie since supporting his wife, Andrea, in the homebirth of their son, Sacha. His work as a psychotherapist coincides with his new venture of Empowered Papa where he offers classes, coaching, and ongoing support through his blog. Joe is passionate about fixed gear bikes, running, yoga, and organic foods. He has devoted himself to a heart-centered practice.

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Jeremy Dyen

After I talked with Kaitlin about doing this guest post, Madhavi and I sat down and recalled our birth journey and how we transitioned from a hospital to home birth. We were a little foggy piecing together the chronology of how things unfolded, but one thing became quite clear: Although there were several things that influenced our decision to switch to a home birth, we both agree that watching The Business of Being Born was a real tipping point.

Before We Knew About Home Birth…

Early in her pregnancy Madhavi was pretty set on birthing in a hospital.

She welcomed the idea of getting an epidural. She was okay with doing whatever might be necessary to alleviate the inevitable labor pain and to ensure safety for both her and our baby. At that point in her life all of her close friends and family went through the routine of hospital birth: epidurals, pitocin and other seemingly avoidable interventions.

Her work as a physician also influenced Madhavi’s birth choices at the time. A hospital birth was simply the paradigm she was comfortable with. In fact, when she later found out about home birth she admitted that she had not realized it was even an option!

Aha! There Is Another Option…

After starting with Hypnobabies, a home study childbirth class that included hypnobirthing and was geared toward a natural birth, we started to think more about the kind of birth we could have. We started to understand the benefits of a natural birth for both Madhavi and our baby. Madhavi was feeling like natural birth was not only doable, but necessary, and she was feeling more and more confident about it.

As Madhavi shifted her thinking toward a natural birth, the challenges of birthing naturally in a hospital started to surface.

Madhavi was very familiar with protocols inherent in hospitals that pose challenges to having a gentle birth.

Doctors and nurses really have to stick to such protocols lest they face the pitfalls of the overly litigious culture we live in. And Pennsylvania, where we live, is one of the most litigiousd when it comes to medical malpractice. The bottom line is many obstetricians will push for what is right by the policy standards, even if it means overriding the expectant parents’ wishes.

Madhavi also knew first hand that hospital are breeding grounds for germs and bacteria. A hospital, after all, is where sick people go. Why would we want to subject our newborn baby, with a yet-fully-developed immune system, to a higher risk of infectious disease?!

We also had close friends who were planning a homebirth.

This had a direct influence on choices we were making about our birth. Talking to our friends gave us a personal view of of homebirth, which was quite a new view for us. That opened up the possibility of homebirth for us.

Still, at that point we were only on a path to considering homebirth. We didn’t really know what was to come.

When Did We First Hear Of The Business Of Being Born?

Madhavi had been seeing a great chiropractor during her second trimester.

In the waiting room she read a magazine about home birth. She also read about The Business Of Being Born in another small health magazine there. That was the first she knew of the movie.

Shortly after that discovery we met with our doula, Amy. We met with her at Crozer-Chester Hosptial, where Madhavi was working at the time.

When I arrived Madhavi filled me in on the first few minutes I missed, and she told me they had been discussing the idea of home birth.

Amy spoke from experience when she told Madhavi that having a natural birth in the hospital was not without its challenges. Madhavi said that homebirth was something she had been thinking about, and that we should look into it. I always told Madhavi that I would support whatever decisions she made, but thought homebirth was a great idea and I was happy to here about her thoughts. Amy gave us the names of a few midwives in our area.

It was only a day or two later that we rented The Business Of Being Born from a local video rental place.

After seeing that movie, we were both so convinced home birth was the only way to go for us.

Madhavi called our midwife the next day.

Although it has been nearly two years since we saw the movie, we remember the points that swayed us to homebirthing:

• Intervention breads intervention. There is most often a cascade of events that happens once that initial intervention is accepted. Induction via pitocin often necessitates an epidural. An epidural opens up a range of potential issues including forced pushing, tears, episiotomy, the use of forceps or vacuum and avoidable Cesarean Section.
• Hospital births are powered very much by money. The movie is called The Business of Being Born for a reason. Having worked for years in hospitals Madhavi was very aware of money as a driving force behind the business.
• Mortality rate. The movie pointed out very clearly that the U.S. infant mortality rates were much higher than a number of countries in which homebirth is practiced more.
• The C-Section rate in the U.S. is way too high. While the World Health Organization (WHO) urges a 15%-or-below C-section rate, the U.S. rate is above 30%! The movie drove this point home.

Madhavi recently told me the thing that sticks in her mind the most is when Marsden Wagner, M.D., of the WHO talks in the movie about staying out of the hospital if you really want to have a natural birth. I remembered that guy from the movie very well, and I went back to the clip Madhavi was talking about to find the exact quote. He says,

“…If you really want to humanize birth, the best thing to do is get the hell out of the hospital.”

All Expectant Parents Should Watch This Movie

I feel like The Business Of Being Born should be required viewing for all expectant parents.

From there they can make whatever decision they wish.

I imagine that some people will still cling to the mainstream belief that hospital births are safer. Some will still believe that modern medicine and technology is the solution to modern childbirth. Some will simply just cling to fears and shirk their own rights and responsibilities as parents to make a healthy decision for mother and baby. But at least, having watched this movie, their decisions will be informed to a greater degree.

We know from direct experience that
homebirth was the best option for us. Madhavi had a wonderful birth at home, and we couldn’t imagine it any other way. We cherish that experience.

We do realize that home birth is not in everyone’s comfort zone, but I try to tell as many expectant parents as I can to watch this movie. I think it is a tremendous resource because it is very accessible and digest-able. It is a great primer from which you can start making informed decisions about a hospital vs. homebirth. It was for us.

I think The Business Of Being Born is especially helpful for birth partners who act as roadblocks when their partner actually wants a homebirth.

This movie might be the very thing to dispel the myth that birthing in the hospital is safer for mother and baby. I can see how the movie might sway a birth partner who is an adamant advocate for a hospital birth to swiftly rally for a homebirth. Men like to work with proof, facts and numbers. The Business Of Being Born supplies those very things.

Post Script

So many people have since told Madhavi how brave she is for birthing at home.

Her usual response is, “No, I’m not that brave.” Quiety, she thinks to herself that they must be brave for dealing with the roller coaster ride of birthing in a hospital.

Madhavi had to be especially insistent with a close friend who is also a Physician and had two hospital births.

Her friend kept telling Madhavi how brave she was. When Madhavi finally told her friend that she was that brave one for having weathered two hospital births with epidurals, pitocin, etc., her friend was taken aback. Madhavi had to explain some of the facts regarding high C-section and infant mortality rates in the U.S. as a result of over-medicalized births in order to convince her friend of the perils of hospital births.

This scenario just highlights how hidden the facts are in our culture. So many are blind to the statistics and are all too willing to accept the mainstream perception of how birth should be. 

The Business Of Being Born is a great way to start lifting the blinders to see how mainstream birthing could be.

Jeremy Dyen is a musician, father and husband who blogs at Stay at Home Papa. He and his wife Madhavi are advocates of hypnosis and affirmations for mindset shifts about birth. They recently launched the Birth Relaxation Kit, (Click here to visit Birth Relaxation Kit.) and also offer a free hypnobirthing mp3.

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Melody Aylestock

I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine.

I used to think that women who wanted to give birth naturally were crazy.

And as for women who actually wanted to have a homebirth? ON PURPOSE?! They were INSANE. I just didn’t get why anyone would WANT that.

And then I watched The Business of Being Born. And it rocked my world.

Our first born son, Davis, who had been born in the hospital, was about 15 months old at this time, and we were newly pregnant with our 2nd (and planning on delivering at the hospital again).

The term “home birth” was still a foreign concept to me. I just assumed it meant you didn’t make it to the hospital on time! I had heard of a few friends who had delivered at home with a midwife, but I had never thought twice about it and honestly wasn’t even remotely interested in the prospect.

Full disclosure: I am a wimp when it comes to physical pain.

Plus it seemed too “unsafe.” I liked knowing that a hospital is prepared for all emergency procedures, were something to come up. My husband mentioned that there was a new movie from Ricky Lake on Netflix about home birth that we should watch, and I thought “sure!” After all, I loved watching TLC’s “a baby story” and other shows where babies were born in hospitals.

After watching this beautiful film, I was totally transfixed.

It was TOTALLY different from “a baby story.” These were women who were not screaming – not hooked up to iv’s and oxygen or laying on their backs with their legs in stirrups – women who weren’t being rushed down to have an emergency c-section. These were women who had chosen to labor in their own homes and dance, sway, move however they wanted to – so that they could feel EVERYTHING – and give birth totally naturally. They made it look FUN!

My eyes were opened to something I never knew I had wanted so badly.

I hadn’t really done any research when automatically signing up for a hospital birth the first time.

Our research was basically: “okay, we have these 2 hospitals to choose from. Which place is better to have a baby?”

In The Business of Being Born, it is stated that people will put more energy in researching what new camera or tv to buy before weighing their options about giving birth!

Isn’t that bizarre? It’s really our American culture. We watch shows like “a baby story,” or see screaming laboring women in movies, and grow up assuming that childbirth is a traumatic, scary, painful event that must take place in the hospital. We assume that as women, our bodies are “lemons,” and are unable to properly deliver a baby on their own. We think that we must have medical intervention to help us through this “illness.”

Thankfully my husband and I did not have a “traumatic” experience at the hospital with our first born’s birth, but I did feel very much “out of control” and rushed.

Since my body wasn’t progressing “quickly enough,” the doctors and nurses were telling me what I needed – for the “sake of my baby” – a double dose of pitocin, (the drug from you-know-where) nubain, epidural, vacuum extractor leading to tearing…UGH. And since I didn’t know the difference – and didn’t want to be a “bad mother” by refusing drugs that would “help” my baby, I just agreed do whatever they suggested. Plus, while being hooked up to the i.v. and fetal monitor, I was very limited in what I could do as far as moving around.

They had said in the hospital “birthing class” that I would be able to walk around, but really they made me lay in the bed for all 18 hours.

I would say I had to go to the bathroom, just to be able to actually sit up! Of course, no food or water (which I don’t understand why…because labor is the hardest work you ever do!) and with all of the conflicting drugs (which really do act against eachother), poor davis’ heartrate began to slow down, and I had to use an oxygen mask. No fun. Thank the LORD, he was born healthy and I did not have a cesarean section.

After watching “The Business of Being Born,” I began to wonder if birthing at home was something I could do!

It took us about 4 months to make the decision – and now that I look back on how long it took for me to decide this I just have to laugh. I was so insecure – unsure of myself and what I was capable of.

I am one of those people that once I make a decision, I am ALL in. So I began pouring over countless midwifery/home birth books, (especially Ina May Gaskin – I mean seriously. The woman is a rockstar!)

An interesting point she makes is that as women, we are uniquely designed so that our emotions are deeply tied into how our labor and delivery are. If we are strapped down to a hospital bed, in an unfamiliar room with doctors and nurses we don’t know coming in and out of the room, our bodies naturally take longer to labor and dilate. It is much like the concept if someone tells you to stand in front of a group of people and just pee on the spot…your body tends to freeze up!

However, when a woman is able to labor on her own non-rushed terms, in a comfortable, nurturing environment, surrounded by people who are lovingly supporting her decision (and not trying to convince her of drugs she “needs”, but instead allowing her to walk/squat/eat/lay in a warm tub of water, doing whatever she feels is right for her body), the experience is totally different.

My friends who have delivered both in a hospital and then at home or birthing center with a midwife all told me the same thing: the difference is night and day. They would do it again any day.

It’s really funny when I think about it…

Before Davis was born, I had such a totally different view of giving birth. I really didn’t understand why people would want to refuse drugs. I thought it was a “feminist machoism”type thing. I said that the only reason I would ever refuse pain drugs is if 1. labor was totally painless, or 2. I was trying to prove something to somebody. Isn’ it funny how people change?!

My mentality changed so drastically once I took ownership of my pregnancy and birth.

What once was a half hour wait at the OBGYN Dr’s office to only see the doctor for 5 minutes – who merely listened for the heartbeat, took my weight measurement and asked if I had any questions turned to hour long chats in my living room with our midwife (who I seriously feel like is my aunt or sister- I love her!!!).

She would talk about my nutrition, how I was
feeling, how my stress levels were. She would let my toddler listen to his baby brother’s hearbeat on the doppler and explain to him how the baby in mommy’s belly was growing. How deeply I cherish those sweet memories.

I occasionally would have moments of doubt – and she would affirm me by saying, “Melody – your body was made to do this. You CAN do this. You’re doing a great job.”

I remember at our first “meeting” when she came to our home, she said “I remember this house! I delivered a baby here about ten years ago!” It made me feel like we were living in a hallowed house. A baby had been born in this house once before. And it was about to happen again.

At other times, when people would ask me things like: “Wait – you’re having your baby at home? On purpose?!”

Or “You are crazy. Isn’t that unsafe?” And so the occasional nagging doubts would start to creep in but I would speak truth to myself. I KNEW I could do this. I WANTED this. This is how God designed my body to work.

And then I found the Bring Birth Home community. And Kaitlin Rose and all the thousands of like-minded mamas in this loving community would affirm eachother and write of their beautiful births. And I knew I wasn’t alone.

Plus – we knew that we weren’t going to act foolishly were any emergencies to come up. We knew that our midwife was beyond competent and highly trained to intervene if we needed help. We had asked her so many questions before making the decision (which is what I highly recommend any woman to do when interviewing midwives)

People ask me if I regret having given birth in the hospital with Davis.

Honestly, I don’t.

I am beyond thankful that he was born healthy and without complications, but were I not to have had that experience, I don’t believe I would have been as passionate as I was about wanting to have a homebirth the 2nd time around. I would probably be more scared and insecure of my decision.

I think it’s awesome for women who don’t have the hospital experience and know they want homebirth from the very beginning. I had just never known of what my options were the first time. And I can’t live in regret – but i can be thankful that The Business of Being Born made me aware of the choices I have – and that birth can be a beautiful and empowering and HEALING experience.

And let me just tell you about my homebirth. It WAS healing. EMPOWERING. Beautiful. Peaceful. Relaxing! PERFECT. Intimate. EUPHORIC. Life-changing.

You can read the full story here : Caedmon’s home birth story.

I will also use this post as a shameless plug for hypnobabies. I used this program to learn how to relax and enjoy labor (and it totally worked.)

I never even realized how strong I was…how incredible I was, (not to sound arrogant – but you homebirth mamas know what I’m saying, right?) how awesomely designed my body was…until I gave birth the second time. What I had once not been able to feel, (due to meds and epidural in the hospital) I was now able to feel, because I WANTED to.

And I wasn’t scared. I was on cloud 9.

I gave birth in a tub of warm water in our bedroom.

Right at the foot of our bed.

And even now 15 months later, sometimes in the middle of the night I will hold my baby boy right in that exact spot he was born and I will close my eyes and breath in his warm milky breath and nibble on his chubby earlobe and press my nose to his forehead and remember at the peak of labor when I felt him moving down – and knowing that MY BODY was doing it.

No one was making me push when I wasn’t ready to. My body naturally pushed when I had a contraction.

It was so peaceful. No one was yelling “PUSH! 2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. COME ON! PUSH!!!” My husband was rubbing my shoulders – my doula was giving me the best back massage of my life – my midwife kept saying “you are doing GREAT. Your body is doing exactly what it needs to do.” And I relive that exact moment when my midwife said “reach down and feel your babies’ head!”

I just felt so powerful and primal and deeply connected with the millions of women in the earth’s history who had ever done this before. It’s one of those indescribable moments where you just KNOW you are ALIVE.

And it was such a necessary journey for me to become the woman I am today.

{Please understand: I totally get it that homebirth is not for everyone. I have several friends who have had high-risk pregnancies or medical conditions that won’t allow them to have a natural birth, and I totally understand and respect that. Please know that I am not judging them, nor do I think any less of them. This was just a decision that was very right for us. My goal is not to make any woman who has no desire to have a natural birth feel any less of a woman. I just want you to know that I used to be totally skeptical, and am now so very thankful that we were able to have this experience.}

I love the moment I became a mother for the first time.

Yes, it was in the hospital. Yes, it was with medicine. But that moment changed my life.

And I love that moment I gave birth at home.

It was a re-birth for me. It changed who I was. It grew a confidence in me that to this day helps me out in everyday life. When I am going through stressful times or having a terrible day – all of a sudden I have a flashback of my husband whispering in my ear “you’re doing it! you’re doing great!” And I think “yes, I can do this. I can do anything. I gave birth. I GAVE BIRTH.”

And I promise I am not an
emotional person.

I’m just not. But every so often, I remember that perfect moment when my midwife helped lift my sweet baby Cædmon out of the water and place him on my chest – and I still get tears in my eyes as I relive -in the exact spot- that night that healed me and changed me and gave me the confidence and strength I never knew I possessed.

I know that The Business of Being Born is what opened my eyes to what I could do.

What we as women can do. Oliver Wendell Holmes Junior said, “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” The Business of Being Born did that for me. It gave me hope that birth could be beautiful. And it is.

So thank you to Ricky Lake and Abby Epstein, for opening my eyes and helping me see what new dimensions I would have more than likely missed out on had I not seen your beautiful film. I absolutely can hardly wait to give birth again.

Your documentary was a gift that changed my life. And I am so glad you gave.

Melody blogs at “Ramblings of a Lovesick Mommy,” where she likes to record all of the adventures she has with her little family (which includes her husband and 2 sons, dog, 14 hens, and whatever lizards or frogs her toddler wants to catch that day). Her 2nd son was born at home, and the BBH community played a very encouraging role throughout her pregnancy.

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Kate Jaggard Tyo

The fact that I didn’t consider birth a “women’s issue” before seeing The Business of Being Born is a bit startling to me when I look back on it.

But the truth is, despite being a mini feminist growing up and always having been fascinated by pregnancy and babies, I clearly remember saying at age 20 that when I had kids I wanted the epidural in the parking lot.

Of course, I had no idea what I was talking about. All I was really thinking at that point was Pain = Bad, Epidural = No Pain, No Epidural = Pain, and so Kate + Pregnant = Epidural. I did not do well in my university logic class, by the way.

About a year before I saw BOBB, a seemingly insignificant comment made a huge impact on me.

In my biology lab we watched the NOVA birth video and I saw for the first time a baby actually being born. What is usually depicted in the media is not this, but instead a woman birthing a baby. Think Rachel on Friends, or Kirstie Alley in those ridiculous baby movies. The faces they make, the screams they emit, this is the focus of the media’s portrayal. In my science class, however, I saw a baby emerge from a vagina and it was awesome.

In talking about the film afterwards my lab instructor stated that she was a “doula” (huh?) and then went on to say, nonchalantly, that “women have no idea what their bodies can do.”

I hated biology and everything else about that biology class but I could not stop thinking about that comment.

I couldn’t stand to think that we, an entire gender, had somehow been tricked into thinking something lame about our bodies when what we should be thinking is something awesome. And so those words stuck with me, percolating a nice big pot of interest in the back of my mind.

It was a year or so later when I got to see a showing of BOBB at midwifery convention in my city.

I was absolutely dumbstruck at the state of maternity care in my country.

I was appalled at the history of obstetrics and the persecution of midwives and the oppression of women. I was horrified at the reasons given for emergency cesareans and the misinformation given to women by their caregivers. I could not believe that the cascade of interventions existed and that the medical community did not seemed fazed by it but instead seemed driven by it.

That same evening we had dinner with two different couples, both of the guys surgeons. I asked them about the sky-high cesarean rates which they confirmed, although not with the horror I was expecting.

I was also enthralled by my education of what a doula really is and does, which was fleshed out for me in this film. My passion was ignited and I knew that somehow I needed to be involved in birth experiences and supporting other women.

When my husband and I moved to Sweden for his work, I decided it was time to pursue a doula certification.

I really internalized what I was studying and soon was pregnant myself.

My doula studies took a backseat for a while as I attended to my own pregnancy dreams, the top of which quickly became to have a homebirth.  Had I not seen BOBB I don’t think I ever would have considered homebirth.

But it showed me these absolutely beautiful families birthing so calmly while explaining why that was important. The juxtaposition to hospital protocol and what struck me as a completely impersonal experience made it a no-brainer for me.

I had to have a homebirth.

At this point BOBB became my tool.

I had seen this film with my husband and I’m sure we watched it together again as we explored homebirth.

When I talked with friends, some of whom were also pregnant, I’d invite them to watch it with me. When I talked to my mother, at home thousands of miles away from her baby, I sensed her apprehension when I uttered “homebirth” (though she was far too polite to say anything direct) and so on a visit home I watched it with both of my parents.

My mom, a former RN who to that point had only experienced the medical model of birth both in her work and twice herself, was pretty much an instant convert.

And most importantly, as I contemplated our plans for our baby and tried to really iron out all it was that I was wanting, I would watch BOBB over again and let the tears fall down my cheeks as I was deeply saddened by what has become the typical American birth experience as well as being deeply moved by what is still possible.

While I love that BOBB opened the homebirth door to me, what is more generally valuable is that it shows women that there is more than one option for them.

There are women who will never feel safe outside a hospital environment, and women who would never consider a midwife-attended birth.  There are women who, like the younger me, sign up for the epidural before signing up to be a mother, and there are women that will want a scheduled cesarean the first time and every time. If that is truly a choice then that’s awesome; be empowered to have the birth you want.

But to have those be defaults because your caregiver doesn’t tell you about an option that he or she isn’t supportive of, or your girlfriend’s birth went horribly so you assume yours will too, or because the only impression of birth you have is that which our culture presents to us, is not to have an empowered experience.

I have heard people say that BOBB is one-sided.

Well, freak yeah, it’s one-sided. It’s a documentary and generally that’s what those films do: speak the story of a previously unheard voice. I am so glad that I saw this one-sided film and was able use it to balance out the loads of other one-sided messages about birth that I had gathered in my birth bonnet over my short lifetime.

In my continued reading and research after seeing this film, what I dishearteningly discovered is that for a lot of women it takes a traumatic birth experience to result in an empowering one.

If nothing else, I hope the the existence of BOBB leads to millions of women feeling truly empowered in the birth experiences they have, as I did in mine.

Kate Jaggard Tyo lives in Chicagoland and is a wife, mama, and doula, currently planning her second homebirth for early next year. She blogs (though not so recently) at Kate is Fun and is a passionate lover of good food. That noise you heard? It was a foodgasm.

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Pascale

I saw The Business of Being Born while living abroad in Sweden.

Our home is Montreal, Canada.

We had moved overseas a few months earlier for my husband’s work, with our 2 kids (my husband and I originally met in Africa and in the last 12 years we have moved 10 times!).

We were planning to have another baby and I was happy to be in a country where unless you had medical issues it was the norm to give birth with a midwife.

There I wasn’t an extraterrestrial because I thought that being hooked up while laboring on your back with your legs up in the air was weird and abnormal! But even in Scandinavia I sometimes couldn’t believe how misinformed some people were about natural birth and even though I am known for being opinionated I often found myself unable to justify my choices…

The Business of Being Born changed everything.

For  the first time I heard my voice! When people in the documentary spoke, it seemed like their words where coming from my heart! I will always remember the women who was making a metaphor between giving birth and climbing a wall. She said how once you climb that wall you feel like now no wall would be tall enough to come between you and your dreams. I cried. That is exactly how I felt since birthing my babies.

Before seeing BOBB I was already a believer in natural birth.

I thought there was something wrong with the way most babies in North America are being welcomed into the world.

That’s why my own kids where welcomed by their mommy, their daddy and midwives, first in an hospital and then the other two at home. I was a believer but was unable to translate my experience into words. The documentary changed that for me, for it gave me the strength to spread my beliefs so clearly

Giving birth to my first was a revelation!

Why is it that no one, not even other women, told me how strong I was!? Birthing made me an activist! I needed to tell future mothers they could do this, pregnancy was not a disease, that they have the strength and medication was not the only option!

BOBB gave me credibility!

I could tell people: See? Listen! Someone did their homework, and they are numberous! Giving birth at home is not irresponsible, and I am a good mom because I followed my heart!!!

I will be forever grateful for that movie.

There is something wonderful about pioneers! And since home birth was almost eradicated from “developed” countries, the Business of Being Born, and us home birthers…we are pioneers!

Pascale is a sweet soul, wife, mother of three, and birth activist living in Montreal, Canada.

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Jessica English

A few months after I first saw The Business of Being Born, a midwife at a local hospital asked me if I’d be willing to help spread the word about a screening on their campus.

Yes, yes, yes!

I was thrilled to help, and so impressed that a hospital-based midwifery group was going out on a limb to show a film that was not so friendly to the hospital model – all in the name of getting our community talking about birth.

The lead-up to the screening revealed some internal hospital politics.

A beautiful poster was vetoed by the PR department at the last possible second and replaced with a much less eye-catching, photocopied design. I was invited to participate in the Q&A panel afterward, then the invitation was rescinded when it was decided that the panel should include hospital staff only.

Still…a local hospital was showing The Business of Being Born!

I was just so thrilled that our community would not only have a public screening but that it was being sponsored by one of our local hospitals. A hospital. A-MA-ZING.

About 100 people attended that night, and the Q&A afterward went well. It was a lovely piece of an ever-deepening conversation about birth in our community. I was, and am so grateful to Ricki and Abby for this film – an eye-opener and a conversation starter.

Today, many students come to my natural childbirth class already having seen The Business of Being Born.

A doula client’s husband won my heart recently when he told me in all sincerity and awe that there was this really great film called The Business of Being Born, and I really should check it out.

I have worked with a number of women who were planning a very traditional, medical route for their births… until someone suggested they watch this film. In some cases, their plans swung ‘round 180 degrees.

A small percentage of my students and clients choose to birth at home, and their extended families don’t always understand that choice.

In several instances, watching The Business of Being Born together has helped a family reach a mutual understanding, with respect for the new mother’s decision, if not total peace or acceptance (although occasionally that too). What a gift for these families.

All that said, I’m not an unquestioning adoring fan.

There are things that I don’t love about The Business of Being Born.

I’ve come to peace with the ending, but still feel it might have been pieced together a bit differently so as not to leave folks hanging with quite so much drama (as dramatic as the real-life situation of a hospital transfer must have been). After a movie so filled with peace and calm, I would have liked to have seen the film come full circle back to those images at the end.

Perhaps more importantly, if I could change anything I would refocus the movie to contrast “the medical model” and “the midwifery model,” rather than so much focus on “hospital” vs. “home.”

This is the complaint I hear most often from students and clients, too — that the film is so anti-hospital and they are just not comfortable making the leap to home birth. Although you can’t have a home birth in the hospital, I also know that with the right provider many women can certainly have beautiful, natural hospital births. I see them all the time! I am still waiting for the film that tells that story.

By and large, though, I am so incredibly grateful for The Business of Being Born.

I have seen it touch lives in a way no other media resource has been able to do.

In our global quest to change birth, I feel we are each called upon to use our talents and strengths to help make a difference.

Thank you, Ricki and Abby for using your amazing filmmaking talents to help create real and lasting change. At just under four years old, The Business of Being born is clearly a permanent classic. Bring on More Business of Being Born!

Jessica English is a mother of two boys, writer and owner of Birth Kalamazoo. Her group offers birth and postpartum doula services, natural childbirth and breastfeeding classes, and in-home lactation consulting, along with free monthly Birth Matters meetings and other community classes and events. You can learn more at Birth Kalamazoo’s website, Facebook page or blog.