Guest Writers

A Film That Touches Lives

1 Comment 04 November 2011

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Jessica English

A few months after I first saw The Business of Being Born, a midwife at a local hospital asked me if I’d be willing to help spread the word about a screening on their campus.

Yes, yes, yes!

I was thrilled to help, and so impressed that a hospital-based midwifery group was going out on a limb to show a film that was not so friendly to the hospital model – all in the name of getting our community talking about birth.

The lead-up to the screening revealed some internal hospital politics.

A beautiful poster was vetoed by the PR department at the last possible second and replaced with a much less eye-catching, photocopied design. I was invited to participate in the Q&A panel afterward, then the invitation was rescinded when it was decided that the panel should include hospital staff only.

Still…a local hospital was showing The Business of Being Born!

I was just so thrilled that our community would not only have a public screening but that it was being sponsored by one of our local hospitals. A hospital. A-MA-ZING.

About 100 people attended that night, and the Q&A afterward went well. It was a lovely piece of an ever-deepening conversation about birth in our community. I was, and am so grateful to Ricki and Abby for this film – an eye-opener and a conversation starter.

Today, many students come to my natural childbirth class already having seen The Business of Being Born.

A doula client’s husband won my heart recently when he told me in all sincerity and awe that there was this really great film called The Business of Being Born, and I really should check it out.

I have worked with a number of women who were planning a very traditional, medical route for their births… until someone suggested they watch this film. In some cases, their plans swung ‘round 180 degrees.

A small percentage of my students and clients choose to birth at home, and their extended families don’t always understand that choice.

In several instances, watching The Business of Being Born together has helped a family reach a mutual understanding, with respect for the new mother’s decision, if not total peace or acceptance (although occasionally that too). What a gift for these families.

All that said, I’m not an unquestioning adoring fan.

There are things that I don’t love about The Business of Being Born.

I’ve come to peace with the ending, but still feel it might have been pieced together a bit differently so as not to leave folks hanging with quite so much drama (as dramatic as the real-life situation of a hospital transfer must have been). After a movie so filled with peace and calm, I would have liked to have seen the film come full circle back to those images at the end.

Perhaps more importantly, if I could change anything I would refocus the movie to contrast “the medical model” and “the midwifery model,” rather than so much focus on “hospital” vs. “home.”

This is the complaint I hear most often from students and clients, too — that the film is so anti-hospital and they are just not comfortable making the leap to home birth. Although you can’t have a home birth in the hospital, I also know that with the right provider many women can certainly have beautiful, natural hospital births. I see them all the time! I am still waiting for the film that tells that story.

By and large, though, I am so incredibly grateful for The Business of Being Born.

I have seen it touch lives in a way no other media resource has been able to do.

In our global quest to change birth, I feel we are each called upon to use our talents and strengths to help make a difference.

Thank you, Ricki and Abby for using your amazing filmmaking talents to help create real and lasting change. At just under four years old, The Business of Being born is clearly a permanent classic. Bring on More Business of Being Born!


Jessica English is a mother of two boys, writer and owner of Birth Kalamazoo. Her group offers birth and postpartum doula services, natural childbirth and breastfeeding classes, and in-home lactation consulting, along with free monthly Birth Matters meetings and other community classes and events. You can learn more at Birth Kalamazoo’s website, Facebook page or blog.

Guest Writers

Illustrating the Need For Change

1 Comment 03 November 2011

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Lesley Everest

More Business of Being Born, four more films by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein, is about to be released on November 8th. I wanted to take a minute to reflect upon how Business of Being Born has impacted my work as a doula.

While I was in the middle of watching the original Business of Being Born at a screening here in Montreal, I was called out to a birth.

It was a first time mom, who had begun having contractions at about 37 weeks gestation. Right from the get go, things were speeding along, so I had to leave during the scene where the Woodstock hippies are dancing around.

I was disappointed that I had to leave what was going to be a great night complete with a long awaited birth movie and a panel discussion, but hey, a baby was on the way. The knowledge that I was going to see a new being into the world quickly soothed my disappointment. I arrived at the hospital and Baby Danica was born smoothly and naturally very soon afterwards to her lioness of a mom.

A friend of mine had bought a dvd of BOBB, so I had the opportunity to catch up on what I had missed.

BOBB has impacted my work significantly.

As a birth doula, my concern is with contributing to the necessary healing of our birth culture, which, in my humble opinion, is extremely challenged.

Natural birth is seen as radical, and even crazy to the average person. More and more healthy babies are being delivered of healthy mothers via major abdominal surgery, grossly overreaching the 15% Caesarean rate the WHO recommends. The epidural rate for first time mothers in many Montreal hospitals is 98%. The vast majority of women receive some kind of hormonal stimulation to increase the “efficacy” of their contractions. Woman are delivering in positions that are antithetical to the natural mechanics of their birthing bodies.

The way labouring mothers are engaged with intellectually, the room often filled with idle chatter or conversations which should be taken outside, when what they need is support for their primal brains to come to the forefront, impinges upon the natural flow of oxytocin, thus impacting a birth experience for the negative much of the time.

Birth is essentially contained within an environment which places far more trust in the technology and medications than in the process itself.

Ultimately, though, what frightens me the most is how the average woman views even the idea of normal birth as something actually unnatural, really having no idea of what the physical/emotional/and psychological benefits of normal birth are. When normal, physiological birth is held in contempt even by the women themselves, it is clear we have lost our way.

Business of Being Born serves as a critical and necessary change agent, illuminating the problems with modern North American birth practices.

It teaches us how despite our oodles of technological obstetric know how, medications, and hospital beds, our birth outcomes are inferior to countries such as Holland and Norway which use midwives to support normal birth, and obstetricians mostly for treating pathologies in birth.

The film shows evidence of the iatrogenic problems that can arise in birth when there is simply too much medical interference with a process that goes normally the vast majority of the time. We also get a necessary wake-up call by witnessing American women being interviewed at random in New York City, being asked if they’d ever have a midwife.

Not only do most say “no”, but many look startled and begin extolling the virtues of planned Caesareans because they eliminate the big messy unpredictability of childbirth.

I know many women AND obstetricians who watched this film with eyes wide open, the glimmering of an understanding of how essential change is if we want to protect the act of straight up, garden variety, un-medicated vaginal birth from becoming obsolete. Because honestly, in North America, we are almost there.

Not only does Business of Being Born depict the problems and illustrate the need for change, narrated by midwives AND obstetricians, it also lets us know how deeply moving, empowering, and incredible natural birth can be.

Yeah, it hurts. Fair enough. But how that wonderful dance of hormones and baby love transforms women into powerful mothers when the journey is over is at the heart of this film.

What I found most important about Business of Being Born was that it isn’t just a film which preaches to the choir. Sure, every “birthie” in town saw it, but so did many pregnant women and mothers who were not yet “converted” to regarding the possibility of natural birth as a desired thing. This film reached out to everyone, and many heard the message loud and clear.

Personally, my clientele increased because more women were now savvy of what to expect for hospital birth and wanted to come in with a presence who supported their desires for their experience, as well as honoured the safety net obstetrics and hospitals are seen to provide.

BOBB emphasises how critical the support of a doula is for birthing, especially in hospital birth. The presence of a doula helps to increase one’s chances of a more positive birth experience. Many of my initial contacts from my clients begin with their saying, “I watched this film called Business of Being Born, and I need your help to give birth within the hospital system”.

One of the greatest gifts of this film, I felt, was the sharing of the personal birth stories of the creators, Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein.

Ricki Lake is a well-known public figure. She’s been in films and had her own talk show.

She discussed the birth of her first child, which was a hospital birth and not something she felt went the way she wanted. So she chose to have her second baby at home with a midwife. She honestly describes the struggle and pain of her natural birth, and her desire to quit a few times, as most of us do in labour, yet keeps on going with the encouragement of her partner and midwife. Ricki generously shares with us the image of her naked self in the bathtub of her home, birthing her baby, as something natural, beautiful, and absolutely triumphant, as an experience that helped her reclaim the power she felt she didn’t have during her first birth.

Hers is a story of healing and inspiration. Using her inspiration and her status as a public figure to illuminate the challenges of our birth culture, giving us a glimpse of how amazing birth can be by showing us her own story, has inspired thousands upon thousands of women to examine their own desires for their births. I wanted to stand up and applaud that someone whom, as a celebrity, celebrities being mostly viewed at the “too posh to push” types, was willing to share something so intimate for the purpose of illumination.

Abby’s birth story happens near the end of BOBB.

She goes into premature, very fast active labour with a breech baby. We follow her from her home where her midwife lets her know it’s time to get to the hospital, to the lobby of her apartment where she is on her knees of the floor vocalizing with her friend Ricki doula-ing her, to the cab in which her waters break. She makes it to the hospital in time to have the Caesarean she and her obstetrician have agreed upon, and delivers a baby who is very underweight and with major breastfeeding challenges who has to spend time in the NICU.

While she is sad that her experience was not the birth she was hoping for, this part of the film does clearly embrace the fact that problems DO occur in labour, and that our safety net of hospitals and obstetricians are clearly a good thing that we can celebrate, even as we move as a culture towards the idea of exploring more natural options for birth.

Business of Being Born presents two distinctly different worlds: midwife attended natural births, mostly at home, and highly medicated hospital births with obstetricians.

One of the criticisms of the film I encountered was that it gave Medicine a bad rap.

Some of my doctor and nurse friends felt hurt. While they know there definitely major problems with the hospital system, their intent is never to do “bad” to mothers. As a developed nation, we do have the luxury of embracing home birth as a great option because of the safety net obstetrics provides if complications occur. They felt there was a suggestion in the film that midwife attended home birth is mostly good, and OB attended hospital birth is mostly bad. I would like to see a world in which both choices can be consistently fantastic and meet every mother’s personal needs/desires.

As a doula, my challenge is to strike a balance between the two worlds and embrace the possibilities in both.

While I do get to work with midwives outside of the hospital, the vast majority of my clients are hospital-birthers. Many of these women wish to have, or must have due to health risks or lack of midwifery resources, their babies in the hospital. There are no pools to birth in, no opportunities to birth on the floor or a bathtub or by the side of the bed, and a lot of interruption from strangers. My goal is to bridge this gap, to facilitate the best, most natural birth process we can within this challenging hospital environment. A lot of the time, while women still receive the benefits of my tlc, they don’t have the birth they wanted because they simply didn’t have the control over the environment they wished to. I can do my best, but it takes two to tango.

For the best hospital birth possible, medical caregivers need to be on board and respectful of the mother’s wishes.

There must be more openness to the mother’s desire for more control over her environment, such as remaining quiet and observant whenever possible, following the mother instead of insisting she do what is easiest for the caregiver, and encouraging un-medicated birth if the mother wishes as well as unrestricted bonding with the newborn. The wonderful thing is that an openness is just beginning within the hospital system, as evidenced by many of the happy births I have been witnessing of late.

This is the exciting thing: several doctors I work with have seen BOBB as well.

While it is never easy and can make one initially feel prickly to be lumped into the collective “problem” and negatively scrutinized when all you’re trying to do is your work of keeping everyone safe and actually doing some great life-saving work, I have certainly seen the acknowledgement of the need for change, and some changes in action.

I have seen a general shift of more consciousness towards protecting the experiences of the family, more openness to women birthing naturally and in different positions, and more compassionate treatment.

Many of the physicians I work with agree that the medical system is extremely challenged. While they are going to continue doing what they do, there are more who are trying to do it in a way that honours the importance of the experience of birth, not only focusing on a good clinical outcome. Obviously, as a mainly hospital birth doula, this shift in consciousness impacts my life immensely for the positive. While challenges are still rampant and there is much work to be done, I do feel the tides turning slowly.

In my lifetime, I doubt I will see a mass exodus from the hospital back to a homebirth majority.

But hopefully I will see an environment where women can have what they feel is the best of both worlds: mostly un-interfered with, undirected births, but with quick access to the medicine and technology they want close by. If Dr. Michel Odent could create this environment within his clinic in France and enjoy both fabulous clinical outcomes and triumphant new families, maybe, just maybe, we can dream this hope into reality in North America for those who want and/or need a hospital birth.

I am myself a home-birther. This is where I feel safest and most confident. I am an avid supporter of the midwifery model of care, and hope there will soon be enough midwives in and out of hospital births to meet women’s demands for them.

But most women don’t feel this way in North America. These ladies who prefer the hospital make up the majority of the beloved clients I provide support for. For the sense of security they get from being in the hospital, which is essential to their personal sense of safety, it is my wish they should never have to pay the exorbitant physical and emotional price of having their decent birth experiences potentially put at risk with an often overuse of medical interventions without proper informed consent, an impersonal environment, and caregivers who are sometimes unaware of good birth etiquette. So instead of dividing the two worlds, for the sake of most women and not just the ones who are on either end of the majority, I strive to work on healing the divide so that everyone can have the best chance at a beautiful birth.

It is my greatest hope that this impetus towards a healing of our birth culture continues.

The more awareness we bring to issues in and potential of birth, the greater the healing will be. I offer many thanks to all the creators and participants of Business of Being Born for having generated this necessary awareness on a huge scale, and am very much looking forward to More Business of Being Born to keep the momentum going.

Lesley Everest is a wife and mother of 4 living in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. “I support women in birth and mothering, as well as those who love them and those who provide their primary care. I advocate for babies. My path is to contribute to the healing of our wounded Birth Culture, one mother, father, and baby at a time.”
Find out more about Lesley at MotherWit Doula Care and her blog, MotherWit Doula

Guest Writers

Thumbprint

3 Comments 02 November 2011

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Tiffany Gray

Let’s begin here with a small bird’s eye view into me:

I am your average 30-something
suburban mama who is trying to leave
an impression on this earth by raising three unique young souls who will grow to have a grand & great appetite for all things good in life.

I have experienced three different types of birth; one which was induced with many unnecessary interventions, one with slight interventions, and one all-natural empowering birth.

Let it be known that I felt satisfied, honored, and elated at the birth of each of my children.

I feel blessed to have embraced both ends of the spectrum as each birth graciously gifted me with something different that has been vital in my course I like to call: Magical Motherhood.

Lastly, I am not anti-OB, anti-hospital, anti-pitocin, anti-cesarean, anti-cervidil, anti-episiotomy, anti-forceps, anti-induction as there can be a place and purpose for everything. I am advocate for natural birth because I am passionate about the health and happiness of mothers and their innocent babies.

Most importantly, I am an birth activist of TRUTH because I know it really will set you free.

The documentary, The Business of Being Born, opened my eyes wide to birth being a women’s right issue; as something that needed to be protected and fought for.

I have always considered myself a bit of a feminist; I like the notion of raising my daughters to believe in their female power and capability.

This film brought to life that women all across this country are being told a series of destructive, appalling lies. They are being told that they do not innately know how to birth. They need help, they need assistance, they need drugs, they need constant monitoring, they need interventions, they need forceful direction – and the truth is – they need none of it.

Birth belongs to women and not to their birth attendant; we should be the only ones who “deliver” our offspring.

We now know that interfering and meddling with the birth process increases risks regardless of where the birth takes place. I want women to unite together and fight to preserve the sacred rite of passage called: BIRTH.

Innocent babies are being robbed of a peaceful environment in which to enter the world. The media sends us messages that birth is scary; it is something to be greatly feared and all that matters is that baby comes out pink, crying, and “healthy”.

We no longer care about the basic needs of a woman in labor but instead we are consumed with doctors’ schedules, timed performance, quick outcomes, and particular protocol. Women have fallen to prey to believing that they are not capable enough to birth when this is what our bodies were meant to do. They have been severely bullied and manipulated.

We were perfectly created to grow, carry, and birth our children.

It is an amazing honor; a huge responsibility and something that defines us as females.

As women, we have the privilege of being able to give life; there is nothing more powerful and prevailing than that.

The Business of Being Born taught me that the staggering cesarean rate of 1 in 3 is more than just a disgraceful statistic; that the United States has one of the highest maternal death rates in the world is more than just a shocking fact – it allowed me to see that the glory and perseverance of birth is being tainted and lost.

Women are allowing their birth experience to be taken from them. I know firsthand that you will be transformed forever by your birth(s) so why not be proactive and make it the absolute best.

It still amazes me how often I sit and reflect on the birth of my children.

My natural birth left me on a high for weeks; it was truly my greatest accomplishment. I remember looking at myself naked in the mirror the day after having my son and exclaiming aloud as the proud tears streamed down my face: “You did it. You now know that you can do anything!”

It is THAT feeling, that precious moment, that invaluable high that can never be taken from me. Nothing ever in my life has topped my natural birth; it trumps every luxury vacation, coveted job offer, intense love affair, anticipated purchase, and pursued goal.

Someone in the film described their birth as seeing the highest wall you have ever seen and scaling it; someone else describes it has finally feeling alive.

It saddens me that THIS feeling is what the health care industry is stealing from mothers. We must take back the vision and reality of “normal” fearless birth and lay our claim to victory by saying: enough is enough. Birth is a natural function of life. There is no time like the present so let change begin now. Let us be accountable and take authority for our own birth. It is simply too imperative and critical to allow someone to take it from us.

The Business of Being Born allowed me to believe that I have been given all the tools I need – physically, emotionally, & mentality – to conquer any obstacle that life may throw my way.

This belief began to take shape once I was able to achieve my own ideal natural birth.

My favorite part in the film is where Ricki is talking candidly about her homebirth. She describes what she is feeling after her son was born and the high began to set in. I remember her saying, “Finally! Now this is what I was searching for!” and how that feeling was EVERYTHING.

It is everything because birth matters. It leaves a thumbprint inside of every woman. Birth does not discriminate; it is the gateway to motherhood. It is a universal sacrament that is transformative on a woman’s walk through life. You are worth enough to be answerable for your birth; please own it with pride and honor.

I will end with some wise words from the great admired feminist, Joan of Arc: “Do not be afraid. You were born to do this”.

Tiffany Gray is a spirited woman and wife, a mother of three and freelance writer living in Lake Oswego, Oregon.

Guest Writers, What's Cookin?

Four Simple Tips to Healthy Eating

1 Comment 21 October 2011

guest post by Gabriela

Have you noticed how often foods are labelled “healthy” these days?

In fact, I would venture so far as to say that now that we all know that natural means absolutely nothing anymore, marketers have gone and found a new word to entice us so-called conscientious buyers to purchase their products.

And that word is healthy.

For truly healthy and natural meals, the way to go is to cook everything from scratch. 

Of course most of us would love to have the time, energy and gumption to do that. But let’s face it: it simply doesn’t happen.

For those hoping to eat healthy while buying meals in the ready-made section of the supermarket, it’s important to remember that just because a food is labelled as good for you doesn’t mean it will boost your immune system, enhance your brain power or energize you.

However, it is possible to eat relatively healthily at any budget and no matter how busy we get.

Really what this all comes down to is educating ourselves and making the best choices within the realm of what’s possible in every individual situation.

There are a few ways to ensure that even when the food on our plates was prepared by someone else, we’re making the best choices for ourselves and our families.

  • Firstly, there is what I like to call the Rule of Thumb: when you’re looking at the list of ingredients of any product, if it is longer than your thumbnail, you probably won’t want to eat it. When you think about it, how many ingredients go into the meals you cook at home?
  • Secondly, there is the Rule of Semantics: if you don’t understand an ingredient, chances are your body won’t know what to do with it either.
  • Thirdly, I like to Rule Out: there are certain things that are simply not part of our food repertoire as a family. GMOs, for example, are not welcome in our house– so we’ve banished most mainstream, non-organic soy and corn products. We try to eat as humanely as possible, which means that we stay away from factory-farmed anything.
  • Lastly, though organic and local produce can be more expensive, we eat as much of it as we can afford. It’s important to know what fruits and veggies are worth investing in: for example, I will buy conventionally grown avocados but apples and celery are always organic.

When checking out foods and household products, I like to consult the Environmental Working Group website.

It’s a great resource for finding
out basically anything you need to know about toxins, pesticides, and other nasties in everything from sunscreen to wet wipes.

They have also put out a list of produce in terms of what is more pesticide-heavy and what is safer to eat non-organic.

Remember: nobody is perfect, and that includes our diets, but let’s do what we can to stay truly healthy – not because we are marketed health, but because we feel great!

I’d love to hear from the readers of Bring Birth Home! What are some of the tricks you use to ensure your family gets the healthiest food possible?

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As a result of multiple health challenges, Gabriela left a lucrative career in television production to become a Holistic Health Consultant, writer and, most recently, a mother. These days, when she in not blogging about health, working on new and delicious recipes or spending time with her family, Gabriela is leading workshops and writing about nutrition both on and off the plate. She lives in New York City with her husband and baby girl as well as on the web at The Picky Foodie.

Attachment Parenting, Guest Writers, Motherhood

A Working Mother’s Sacrifice

10 Comments 21 September 2011

guest post by Jeremy Dyen

I want to tell you how bittersweet it is that we live in a time when the roles of men and women, of mothers and fathers, have become blurred and intermingled.

More and more I find stay at home dads at the park with their kids, while mom is off at work.

I have a number of friends who live that scenario. I lived that scenario. I still do, though it is a bit more complicated than my wife, Madhavi, going off to work while I stay home with our 18 month old Anjali (but more on that in a minute).

Why I think this role shifting is bittersweet

The sweet part is that we stay at home papas get more time with our kids than the typical working dad.

That means more connection and involvement.  It has allowed me to tap deeply into my nurturing side, which I knew I had, but maybe didn’t realize how deep. Somehow I think it’s the role I always knew I would fill.

The bitter part is, especially in the early years, a sacred and beautiful bond is being broken, (at least partially).

It is my strongest belief that, at least in the first year, babies have a biological, an emotional and a physical need to be with their mothers.

Mom, after all, grew this baby for nine months and birthed her. They were physically connected for all of that time. I am reminded of this time and time again seeing Anjali’s reaction when she sees Madhavi, or when she is nursing. I am reminded of this every time Madhavi goes to work, even though she’s only going to the room on our third floor.

A Little Back Story

The short story is that Madhavi earns more than me, and therefore is the main earner in our family.

The longer story goes a little like this. I am a musician, composer and producer. I earn my living mainly from gigs and some teaching, but also from licensing, producing and CD sales. We own some rental properties, so I oversee everything related to that, including financing, bookkeeping, maintenence, etc.

My wife is a Physician…but no longer practicing clinically.

She left her job as a Headache Specialist in March in part because she no longer enjoyed clinical practice (and especially disliked being on call, which is really tough for a nursing mama), because she always wanted to work at home and most certainly to have more time with Anjali.

Since Anjali’s birth, she worked part time at her practice. But it became clear to her that it was time to take the plunge. She plunged and immediately found a job using her skills that allowed her to work part time and to be at home. She is given a few nursing breaks throughout her day, so she was able to ditch the pump.

Now, Madhavi and I are both work-from-home parents.

We recently launched the Birth Relaxation Kit which is a downloadable hypnosis for childbirth program, including affirmations mp3s, music recordings and guide book. Also, Madhavi has a thriving website at mavigupta.com, about headache relief, and where conventional and holistic medicine intersect.

The Sacrifice:

Ultimately, something has to give. Especially if a mother is working full time, either the quantity of time she spends with her kids suffers, or the quantity of her personal time suffers.

Sometimes it’s not even a choice.

On the one day of the week Madhavi works a full day, from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm, she gets very little time with Anjali. Often these days, Anjali is napping when Madhavi has her lunch break. And recently Anjali started going to sleep at 7:30 pm.

Also, Madhavi is breastfeeding, and plans to continue as long as Anjali wants/needs. This makes co-sleeping at night the best option. That means on difficult nights, when Anjali wakes a lot, Madhavi’s sleep suffers (she probably hasn’t had a straight 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep for 18 months!). That compounds by the fact that she has to get up and work the next day.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture where food, housing, insurance and the basic cost of living is expensive.

We also live in a culture where moms are now expected, or at least encouraged, to work very shortly after giving birth.

Three months is considered a long maternity leave. Madhavi was given 6 weeks, and used vacation, sick and personal days to make up the difference.

What affect is this having on children? What affect is this having on our society in general?

Jon Kabat-Zinn says in the book, Everyday Blessings, “It is considered perfectly acceptable for people to give one hundred percent to their careers…but not to their children.”

One acquaintance of ours is reluctantly resorting to letting her baby cry it out to go to sleep at night in preparation for her return to full time work. She is in a situation where she is the main earner in her family, and she knows she cannot function well after long nights of nursing and many wake ups.

I see how Madhavi struggles with sleep. Even working part time, she feels like her brain is just being stretched. Madhavi chooses, however, to sacrifice her own sleep and her own time in order to provide our daughter with the love and nurturing she deserves. That means some rocky nights. It means putting some personal and business goals on the back burner, or letting them brew slower than we would like.

It’s All About Balance

Today, on one of Madhavi’s days off, I took Anjali to our friends’ party. This gave Madhavi a good chunk of time to reconnect with herself, to work on some of her goals, and even to start sewing a doll for Anjali, a project she has been wanting to get to but hasn’t had time. She said it felt good and it was much needed. Still, she was torn because it meant limited time with Anjali and me.

A friend of mine from college used to say, “It’s all about balance.”

This is one of the many times I hear that phrase echoing in my head. Everything we do as parents is about balance. I think it is a prerequisite, as a parent, to sacrifice at least piece of ourselves, and usually more. It is a balancing act to give so much of ourselves, and yet maintain our individuality.

I am so grateful for the sacrifices, among many other things, that Madhavi has given for her family. I am grateful that we have struck a kind of balance, though we strive for an even better one (that’s a whole other post in itself!).

I wonder how things would have been different if Madhavi was able to take a full year of maternity leave, as is possible in Canada and many other countries. What would it have been like if she didn’t have to go back at all?

***

I’m curious how many of the Bring Birth Home readers are stay at home moms, work at home moms, working part time or working full time. What is your take on this?

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Jeremy Dyen is a musician, father and husband who blogs at Stay at Home Papa. He and his wife Madhavi are advocates of hypnosis and affirmations for mindset shifts about birth. They recently launched the Birth Relaxation Kit, and they even offer a free hypnobirthing mp3.

Guest Writers, What's Cookin?

Tahini: Nutrition for Moms and Their Families

No Comments 16 September 2011

a guest post by Gabriela

The term “superfood” is bandied around a lot these days.

Every green powder, tropical berry or exotic ingredient, it seems, is a
superlative version of the boring old stuff we have in our pantry.

One of the characteristics that separates the wheat from the chaff when it comes
to food is its nutritional content – in other words, how much healthy bang do you
get for your well-intentioned buck?

In my opinion, superfoods don’t have to be expensive or hard to come by.

In fact, I would venture to say that simply by adding more whole foods into our diets,
most of us will be significantly enriching and enhancing what’s on our plates.

One food I like to encourage people, and especially Moms to experiment
with is tahini. In case you haven’t come across it, tahini is a popular Middle
Eastern paste made from sesame seeds. It is available in health food stores and
sometimes in the specialty sections of large supermarkets. Alternatively, you can
order it online.

Tahini is a real superfood in that it is choc-full of nutrition like calcium, zinc
and
fiber. What makes it fun to play with is that it is extremely versatile –
in the
Middle East, tahini is used in both sweet as well as savoury dishes.

But not all tahini is created equal.

For example, much like brown rice contains more health benefits than white
rice, tahini made from unhulled seeds contains more than double the amount of
calcium than its hulled counterpart.

Also, because it is high in Omega 6 fatty acids, raw tahini is your best bet. If you
prefer the taste of the roasted kind, why not mix them together so you’re getting
the best of both worlds?

Here are a few ideas for ways to enjoy tahini:

- Add a Tablespoon to your morning smoothie. It will help keep your blood sugar steady. Just don’t be surprised if you find yourself belly dancing through the morning.

- Combine 1 part blackstrap molasses with 3 parts tahini for a fantastic iron,
calcium, magnesium, fibre-rich pregnancy and post-partum super-spread.

- For a happy little snack that will please big and small, mash a cup of
raspberries with a tablespoon of tahini, ½ tablespoon of fresh lemon juice and 1
teaspoon raw honey (or to taste). Spoon on top of sliced banana, garnish with a
dusting of raw cacao powder and enjoy as dessert for breakfast (or breakfast for
dessert).

- And lastly, perfecting classic savoury tahini is a challenge in and of itself.
Finding the right balance of lemon juice, cumin and salt, chopping the parsley
just so, figuring out how thick you like it and whether you prefer it with or
without garlic is nothing to turn your nose up at. Tahini preferences are as
personal and crucial in the Middle East as tea brewing is in the UK (and let me
tell you, they take their tea very seriously over here!).

I will leave you with a little-known hummus secret: when making your own,
make sure you’ve mixed together the perfect tahini BEFORE adding it to
the chickpeas. The quality and flavour of the tahini will make or break your
hummus.

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As a result of multiple health challenges, Gabriela left a lucrative career in television production to become a Holistic Health Consultant, writer and, most recently, a mother. These days, when she in not blogging about health, working on new and delicious recipes or spending time with her family, Gabriela is leading workshops and writing about nutrition both on and off the plate. She lives between London and the US with her husband and baby girl as well as on the web at The Picky Foodie