a guest post by Denee
To my midwife.

I thought and prayed long and hard before I choose to deliver my baby at home.

My hubby was from the approach of not being sure that home birth was safe and was worried about ‘what if’ something were to go wrong. I pressed on, reading many books and searching for as much information as I could gather to make sure we were making the right decision.

Than I called you.

You were so kind from the get-go and you allowed the choice to birth at home to remain ours; you never pressured us and that meant so much. You just let the process be and that made me realize that we were the ones making the decision-not because someone else was telling us this was how it should be.

You listened to me and were genuinely interested about my well-being.

There was never a time when I needed to call you that I felt I was inconveniencing you or wasting your time. You left all the decisions up to me in the end-from if I felt like giving the ‘tinkle’ sample,to if I wanted to have my blood pressure taken or my baby measured.
Sure, most of these things probably needed to be done occasionally, but you never made it ‘protocol’ or treated me as if I was ill.

You were so gentle when you’d measure my belly and feel my baby.

It always seemed as if you really looked forward to meeting our baby as much as we did-and that influenced my feelings about you substantially.

Your visits were something I looked forward to.

Unlike my previous providers who insisted on examining me every appointment in the 9th month, you made it an option if that’s what I wanted…and surprisingly I never really wanted to. I understood that my body didn’t need to run on a clock and that it would do what it needed to when it was suppose to.

You always were so nice when you came into our home; you always greeted our other children and asked how they were doing-even though they ran off with your urine test strips a time or two!

One thing that meant so much to me was how you would always tell me that I was glowing,and how I looked so beautiful pregnant….I believed you.

Even though I was big and sore and heavy, I truly was made to feel amazing and beautiful.

You encouraged me and told me I would do splendid-never offering a hint of anything less than belief in me, my body and our birth.

The day I called you telling you I’d been having contractions, the words you spoke were nothing but compassionate and there was certainty in your voice that I was competent to know what my body was doing.

You did everything I needed during my short labor.

You offered to be as involved as I wished-or as hands off as I preferred in order to give me the privacy I might desire.You never insisted I be subject to prodding or exams,and you were considerate of letting me birth the way my body instinctually knew how.

When I was in the most intense phase of my labor, you were there putting cool washcloths on my body and quietly encouraging me.

My birth experience was beyond words. 

I felt so empowered and it was far above my expectations-I never thought I could feel so much love and caring during my birth.

For everything from the visits before Jacobi was born, to his birth and then all the postpartum visits and phone calls, it was amazing to have you as my midwife and I will forever be grateful.

Thank you for devoting your life and your heart to guiding families through this life changing event. Because of providers like you, birth works!

Love,
Denee

Karen Brody is a writer, activist, mother, founder of BOLD, author and playwright of Birth, a realistic portrayal childbirth.

I have the extreme pleasure of speaking with Karen this Wednesday, February 15th on Bring Birth Home TV at 9:30 PM EST – join the event.

This blog post is dedicate to getting to know Karen; all of her wonderful accomplishments and the work she is doing to support and educate women about childbirth.

Karen’s journey began in 2003.

She began interviewing women to hear their birth stories. So many responses came in, she had two, sometimes three phone interviews per day and still didn’t get to everyone who wanted to share.

Then began the arduous task of selecting stories for her book – only eight of them.

She describes the selection process: “That was the hardest part — choosing only eight. An impossible task. What about women who give birth to stillborn babies at seven months? Birth from a blind woman’s perspective? Women who give birth in prisons? Some birth stories had to be dropped. I chose the most typical ones I heard; the most common themes. Namely: epidurals, cesareans and natural births.”

Karen chose the stories of low-risk, educated women to depict childbirth in the developed world.

Birth the play has been performed around the globe, and translated into several different languages.

“The ‘Vagina Monologues’ of birth.”
- Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom

About BOLD

The goal with BOLD is to make maternity care more mother friendly, and to inspire communities to organize local productions of Birth. 

BOLD stands for Born On Labor Day, as the first event kicked off on Labor Day and through the month of September. These days, BOLD is a year long event and has raised over one million dollars for pregnant women, teens, VBAC organizations, doula programs and independent organizations.

Join my fabulous co-host Gena and I this Wednesday on Bring Birth Home TV as we speak with Karen about Birth, BOLD, and the creation of her newest venture, FEAR to FREEDOM, offering birth facilitator certification and childbirth preparation.

Sign up for a Vokle account, (it’s free!) to watch and participate during our Wednesday event, and all other upcoming BBH TV shows!

I am beyond excited to announce Bring Birth Home TV!

The story:

Last week I was approached by fellow birth advocate, Gena Kirby of Progressive Parenting (she’s way cool. I’ve been on her radio show twice – listen to Bring Birth Home on Progressive Parenting Radio).

She asked me to co-host a new TV show with her.

And here’s the cherry on top: I could call the show whatever I wanted to.

I could call the show whatever I wanted to? 

Yes.

Well golly! I’d like to call it Bring Birth Home TV thank you very much! <wide grin>

And so, in the snap of a finger, BBH  TV was born. Yay!

Bring Birth Home TV will air LIVE every Wednesday night from 9:30-10:00 pm EST, beginning next Wednesday, 2-8-12

I will be discussing pregnancy, home birth
preparation, how to find a midwife, relaxation techniques during labor, laboring at home, and much more!

We will interview the experts – midwives, doulas, and…YOU!

BBH TV will be a weekly event hosted live Vokle. You can participate with their chat feature and ask us questions, as well as use Twitter. Membership is free.

So, who wants to be a guest on my show?

You need to have a webcam and headset with a speaker. 

In this interview with Joe Valley of Empowered Papa, we discuss the need for support and empowerment for fathers.

Joe realized how much fathers need a guide through pregnancy during childbirth class with his wife Andrea. They were expecting their first child and planning a home birth.

The class was obviously geared toward mothers. Joe didn’t feel like he, or the other dads, really fit in.

So he decided to do something about it.

Empowered Papa is the result of Joe’s hard work.

Listen to our conversation below:

Find and LIKE Empowered Papa on Facebook right now (after you’re done listening that is).

Birthing a child is an intimate and sacred experience that is a reflection of the love making that conceived the child. Doesn’t it make sense to have that experience in a familiar and safe environment?

For those of us that decide to bring birth home, we take responsibility for the grand entry of our children into this world by involving ourselves with every aspect of birth that might otherwise have been handled by someone else in a medical setting.

More and more homebirth dads are choosing to get involved with many aspects of birth because it makes sense to them and their definition of family. Furthermore, moms are asking for their support.

It made sense to me to get involved in the birth of my son. Also, my wife wanted me to be involved. Who else knew her better than me? Who was there more than anyone else throughout the whole pregnancy time? The benefit of my involvement was that I had increased bonding with my wife and my son, and I count his birth as the most transformative event of my life.

Here are 19 ways dads can positively get involved with the pregnancy, birth, and postpartum time.

PREGNANCY

• Say, “I am a dad.” Say it everyday
• Attend a childbirth education course
• Attend a breastfeeding class
• Ask other dads about their personal experience with birth
• Research birth options with partner
• Watch natural birth videos
• Be present for the sessions with midwife
• Ask compelling questions about birth such as “How can I positively influence the birthing time?”
• Participate in deciding who will be present at the birth

BIRTHING TIME

• Prepare the birth pool if mama wants one
• Organize the supplies requested by midwife
• Believe the process works, a woman’s body knows, a midwife is competent, and the water is safe and effective
• Watch, wait and let the process unfold

POSTPARTUM TIME

• Say, “I am postpartum care-giver.” Say it everyday
• Prepare healthy, hot meals [warm food helps new mama recover faster]
• Provide hot water bottles for mama if the weather is cold
• Be the organizer for houseguests and the duration and frequency of their stay
• Provide assistance in baby’s breastfeeding latch
• Help organize the assistance from family and friends to get all of the household chores done

Joe is an accidental birth junkie since supporting his wife, Andrea, in the homebirth of their son, Sacha. His work as a psychotherapist coincides with his new venture of Empowered Papa where he offers classes, coaching, and ongoing support through his blog. Joe is passionate about fixed gear bikes, running, yoga, and organic foods. He has devoted himself to a heart-centered practice.

“Home birth is actually pretty safe, Mom. And plus, the hospital is right around the corner from where we live.”

Sound familiar? I know I’m not the first home birther to use this line on family or friends.

As the loved one of someone who is birthing at home, the idea of a hospital being close by is a comforting fact. And as someone who is planning on giving birth at home, it’s a great point to use when introducing the topic.

When I first began planning my home birth, and telling select family members of those plans, I almost always mentioned the close proximity of our local hospital.

It was literally 10 minutes from our front door.

Their heads nodded in approval saying, “Oh, that’s good.” And, “Just in case.”

I’ll admit it – I liked being that close to a hospital for my first. It was after all, not just my first home birth, but my first birth ever. I didn’t know what to expect.

But as my due date neared, I began to rely less and less on the hospital.

My faith in birth outgrew the need to remind myself of my safety net. I stopped talking about it.

Our first child was born at home, and the entire event was beautiful. Hard work, but beautiful.

When I became pregnant with my second child, I knew right away that I’d be planning another home birth.

I called my midwife and doula, (my dream time) to let them know I’d be needing their services once again.

With this home birth however, one thing would be distinctly different: we had moved to a new home a half hour outside of town. No longer 10 minutes away from the hospital.

I thought long and hard about the possibility of giving birth at home if I lived in the country.

This wasn’t the easiest conclusion to come to.

Heck, I’m human. And I think “what-ifs” are a common part of our nature. We have to think through many different scenarios!

Ultimately, the answer I came to was yes.

Yes, I would give birth at home even if I lived far away from a hospital.

When it came down to it, I wanted to give birth at home to my children more than I was willing to sacrifice where I lived for a what-if possibility. That’s just not a way I want to live!

I wouldn’t give up my desire for home birth, nor would I give up my desire to live in the quiet countryside.

I believe in myself, my body, my team, and above all else, I believe in birth.

Does living in the country make life more dangerous? No.

Does home birth make birth more dangerous? No.

So I birthed at home a second time and it was gorgeous. And I didn’t think twice about being 30 minutes away from the hospital. I could have been two hours away. It wouldn’t have made a bit of difference to me.

p.s. this is not my home. Beautiful though!