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3 Comments 02 November 2011

This post is part of a week long series leading up to the release of More Business of Being Born on November 8th. Come back to the Bring Birth Home blog daily to read the personal stories of seven women as they share “How The Business of Being Born Impacted My Life.”

by Tiffany Gray

Let’s begin here with a small bird’s eye view into me:

I am your average 30-something
suburban mama who is trying to leave
an impression on this earth by raising three unique young souls who will grow to have a grand & great appetite for all things good in life.

I have experienced three different types of birth; one which was induced with many unnecessary interventions, one with slight interventions, and one all-natural empowering birth.

Let it be known that I felt satisfied, honored, and elated at the birth of each of my children.

I feel blessed to have embraced both ends of the spectrum as each birth graciously gifted me with something different that has been vital in my course I like to call: Magical Motherhood.

Lastly, I am not anti-OB, anti-hospital, anti-pitocin, anti-cesarean, anti-cervidil, anti-episiotomy, anti-forceps, anti-induction as there can be a place and purpose for everything. I am advocate for natural birth because I am passionate about the health and happiness of mothers and their innocent babies.

Most importantly, I am an birth activist of TRUTH because I know it really will set you free.

The documentary, The Business of Being Born, opened my eyes wide to birth being a women’s right issue; as something that needed to be protected and fought for.

I have always considered myself a bit of a feminist; I like the notion of raising my daughters to believe in their female power and capability.

This film brought to life that women all across this country are being told a series of destructive, appalling lies. They are being told that they do not innately know how to birth. They need help, they need assistance, they need drugs, they need constant monitoring, they need interventions, they need forceful direction – and the truth is – they need none of it.

Birth belongs to women and not to their birth attendant; we should be the only ones who “deliver” our offspring.

We now know that interfering and meddling with the birth process increases risks regardless of where the birth takes place. I want women to unite together and fight to preserve the sacred rite of passage called: BIRTH.

Innocent babies are being robbed of a peaceful environment in which to enter the world. The media sends us messages that birth is scary; it is something to be greatly feared and all that matters is that baby comes out pink, crying, and “healthy”.

We no longer care about the basic needs of a woman in labor but instead we are consumed with doctors’ schedules, timed performance, quick outcomes, and particular protocol. Women have fallen to prey to believing that they are not capable enough to birth when this is what our bodies were meant to do. They have been severely bullied and manipulated.

We were perfectly created to grow, carry, and birth our children.

It is an amazing honor; a huge responsibility and something that defines us as females.

As women, we have the privilege of being able to give life; there is nothing more powerful and prevailing than that.

The Business of Being Born taught me that the staggering cesarean rate of 1 in 3 is more than just a disgraceful statistic; that the United States has one of the highest maternal death rates in the world is more than just a shocking fact – it allowed me to see that the glory and perseverance of birth is being tainted and lost.

Women are allowing their birth experience to be taken from them. I know firsthand that you will be transformed forever by your birth(s) so why not be proactive and make it the absolute best.

It still amazes me how often I sit and reflect on the birth of my children.

My natural birth left me on a high for weeks; it was truly my greatest accomplishment. I remember looking at myself naked in the mirror the day after having my son and exclaiming aloud as the proud tears streamed down my face: “You did it. You now know that you can do anything!”

It is THAT feeling, that precious moment, that invaluable high that can never be taken from me. Nothing ever in my life has topped my natural birth; it trumps every luxury vacation, coveted job offer, intense love affair, anticipated purchase, and pursued goal.

Someone in the film described their birth as seeing the highest wall you have ever seen and scaling it; someone else describes it has finally feeling alive.

It saddens me that THIS feeling is what the health care industry is stealing from mothers. We must take back the vision and reality of “normal” fearless birth and lay our claim to victory by saying: enough is enough. Birth is a natural function of life. There is no time like the present so let change begin now. Let us be accountable and take authority for our own birth. It is simply too imperative and critical to allow someone to take it from us.

The Business of Being Born allowed me to believe that I have been given all the tools I need – physically, emotionally, & mentality – to conquer any obstacle that life may throw my way.

This belief began to take shape once I was able to achieve my own ideal natural birth.

My favorite part in the film is where Ricki is talking candidly about her homebirth. She describes what she is feeling after her son was born and the high began to set in. I remember her saying, “Finally! Now this is what I was searching for!” and how that feeling was EVERYTHING.

It is everything because birth matters. It leaves a thumbprint inside of every woman. Birth does not discriminate; it is the gateway to motherhood. It is a universal sacrament that is transformative on a woman’s walk through life. You are worth enough to be answerable for your birth; please own it with pride and honor.

I will end with some wise words from the great admired feminist, Joan of Arc: “Do not be afraid. You were born to do this”.

Tiffany Gray is a spirited woman and wife, a mother of three and freelance writer living in Lake Oswego, Oregon.

Your Comments

3 Comments so far

  1. Jaclyn S. says:

    Beautifully said.

  2. Stacy Scott says:

    As someone who was always trying to “control things”, my home births taught me to just let go. I realized that there are 2 things in life that will just happen no matter what you do – birth and death. In death, there isn’t much we can take from it (at least not in this life) but from birth I realized that this baby was going to come out one way or another – I was not in control and I just had to let go and go with it. Being able to have that experience truly changed me from that point forward. I knew that some things were just bigger than me and in releasing to that power I in turn became empowered!


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  1. Win A Copy Of "More Business Of Being Born" Here | Bring Birth Home - November 3, 2011

    [...] November 2nd: “Thumbprint,” by Tiffany [...]

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