Straight Forward No B.S. Home Birth Wisdom
from an Experienced Home Birth Dad
My home birth experience completely changed the way I perceive birth.
I knew coming into our birth that drugs were bad, natural was good. And my grandpa always said that whenever he went into a hospital he came out ten times worse. But I had no idea that birthing at home was actually an option.
I didn’t know what to expect,
but I trusted Katie’s instincts, and let go of my fears.
I quickly learned to turn off the little voice that warned if something catastrophic were to happen that it’d be me who was to look like the irresponsible family protector.
So I backed up my faith in Katie’s instincts with solid information. We intensely studied home birth for five months. We read books, stories, attended classes, lectures and spoke with real people.
This is a dad’s way of backing up emotion with logic.
We surrounded ourselves with an experienced midwife and doula. We not only trusted their professional credibility, we sincerely liked them. We liked them because we spent time with them. We had them over to our home a number of times months before labor. We also surrounded ourselves with accepting loved ones for additional support.
Everyone else was excluded.
I made it my personal responsibility to protect Katie from negative energy and negative people. I learned to avoid negative people like it was a contagious virus throughout and leading up to Ella’s birth.
We prepared our home for home birth.
This isn’t necessarily as straight forward as you think. Sure, there is a healthy list of staple essentials no home birth should go without. That isn’t difficult.
It’s the “fung shui of home” I’m talking about.
For example, we made the conscious decision to NOT rent the inflatable home birth tub. Rather, we decided our claw foot tub would suffice. We sought after specific candles and music. I asked our mom and grandma for a pot roast. We set up stations throughout the house. Like the birth ball was in the living room. We made a conscious decision to incorporate the stairs into the labor process. The downstairs toilet was for Katie only.
Prepare home for ALL details. It provides
a strong sense of security, and makes improvisation less stressful.
Next, become your “super-self” in the area of communication.
Specifically with your midwife, doula, and other home guests who will be present during labor/birth. This is critical.
Adopt the mindset that your midwife, doula and guest support will be the million dollar team that will deliver your child into the world. You’re all responsible, and you must be on your A-Game. Assert a leadership that is nurturing. Be genuine in your gentlemanliness, and read all the cues to communicate effectively.
Home birth doesn’t end after successful delivery.
We kept our home secure for weeks after Ella’s birth. We used this security to continue the birthing process, which became our introduction to parenthood. Our home, literally, was a spiritual “cradle” for the magic that was birthed into existence. We could feel it.
Give yourself permission to bathe in the warm glow of that experience. You don’t have to succumb to the well-meaning mob of eager visitors if you don’t feel inclined to do so.
Listen to my “Home Birth Dad” birth story
Hi, I’m Eric Walker. Kaitlin Rose is my fiance. She created Bring Birth Home. I’m so excited to see what has transpired with Bring Birth Home simply as a result of our choice to home birth. I’ll be a regular contributor at the blog in the months to come.