Home Birth Advocacy

Valentine For a Midwife

0 Comments 14 February 2012

a guest post by Denee
To my midwife.


I thought and prayed long and hard before I choose to deliver my baby at home.

My hubby was from the approach of not being sure that home birth was safe and was worried about ‘what if’ something were to go wrong. I pressed on, reading many books and searching for as much information as I could gather to make sure we were making the right decision.

Than I called you.

You were so kind from the get-go and you allowed the choice to birth at home to remain ours; you never pressured us and that meant so much. You just let the process be and that made me realize that we were the ones making the decision-not because someone else was telling us this was how it should be.

You listened to me and were genuinely interested about my well-being.

There was never a time when I needed to call you that I felt I was inconveniencing you or wasting your time. You left all the decisions up to me in the end-from if I felt like giving the ‘tinkle’ sample,to if I wanted to have my blood pressure taken or my baby measured.
Sure, most of these things probably needed to be done occasionally, but you never made it ‘protocol’ or treated me as if I was ill.

You were so gentle when you’d measure my belly and feel my baby.

It always seemed as if you really looked forward to meeting our baby as much as we did-and that influenced my feelings about you substantially.

Your visits were something I looked forward to.

Unlike my previous providers who insisted on examining me every appointment in the 9th month, you made it an option if that’s what I wanted…and surprisingly I never really wanted to. I understood that my body didn’t need to run on a clock and that it would do what it needed to when it was suppose to.

You always were so nice when you came into our home; you always greeted our other children and asked how they were doing-even though they ran off with your urine test strips a time or two!

One thing that meant so much to me was how you would always tell me that I was glowing,and how I looked so beautiful pregnant….I believed you.

Even though I was big and sore and heavy, I truly was made to feel amazing and beautiful.

You encouraged me and told me I would do splendid-never offering a hint of anything less than belief in me, my body and our birth.

The day I called you telling you I’d been having contractions, the words you spoke were nothing but compassionate and there was certainty in your voice that I was competent to know what my body was doing.

You did everything I needed during my short labor.

You offered to be as involved as I wished-or as hands off as I preferred in order to give me the privacy I might desire.You never insisted I be subject to prodding or exams,and you were considerate of letting me birth the way my body instinctually knew how.

When I was in the most intense phase of my labor, you were there putting cool washcloths on my body and quietly encouraging me.

My birth experience was beyond words. 

I felt so empowered and it was far above my expectations-I never thought I could feel so much love and caring during my birth.

For everything from the visits before Jacobi was born, to his birth and then all the postpartum visits and phone calls, it was amazing to have you as my midwife and I will forever be grateful.

Thank you for devoting your life and your heart to guiding families through this life changing event. Because of providers like you, birth works!


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