The dream began as I opened my eyes.
I was squatting beside my bed, lightly hanging on to the side of the bed frame.
My chin had been tucked into my chest. Taking a deep breath, I looked up and became aware of the beautiful afternoon sunlight filling the room.
It took me a moment to realize what was happening. And then it struck me – I was about to have my baby.
But there was no pain. How did I know I was in labor, I wondered.
Reaching down and pushing slightly, I felt my baby’s head crowning.
Eric and Ella were playing in the bathtub down the hallway. I called them.
“Honey? Ella? Come in the bedroom now. The baby is coming!”
I heard their excited voices, just above a whisper. Heard the soft patter of their bare feet running on the wood floors.
I knew what would happen next even though I woke up before it did…
In one continuous movement, the baby would be born and in my hands. I would scoop my baby up and place him/her on the bed.
(No, I didn’t get to see the gender! Shucks!)
I would continue squatting beside the bed, using the side of the bed frame for support. The baby would gently slide out of my body and I would reach down at the exact moment to hold beneath the arms, cupped under baby’s armpits.
I wish I would have gotten the chance to see that happen.
But I woke up, in the same bedroom where the dream had just occurred, to my little Ella Rose asking to nurse.
I woke up in complete awe.
You see, I’m not a proponent of unassisted birth – not for me anyway. I have never considered unassisted birth before, and even though I know it was only the three of us in our dream, I keep double checking the memory. Am I sure my midwife wasn’t downstairs?
I know she wasn’t.
And in the dream, I was absolutely fine with that.
There was no fear, no pain, no double-checking or guessing. It was the most natural, beautiful and peaceful dream I’ve ever had.
I must admit, my thoughts of unassisted birth have changed in the way that after “experiencing” it, I understand the desire a woman has to birth completely alone.
The dream hasn’t inspired me to give birth unassisted. My midwife will be there. So will my doula. But when the time comes for my baby to arrive, I just might ask them to wait downstairs.
Did you give birth at home unassisted? What lead you to the decision? Please share your comments below!