Comments on: Home Birth: “Brave” Has Nothing To Do With It

By: Sandi

Sandi — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 02:06:07 +0000

Emily, I felt the same way: cheated by those that championed natural birth. I gave birth to our son at home 9 months ago, and it was horrible. Most excruciating, agonizing time of my life. I was not prepared well. People had me looking forward to some “blissful” “empowering” experience. Empowering? I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I lost almost 2 liters of blood. I couldnt walk without pain for almost 8 months due to tearing. I really feel like the Natural birth community does not adequately prepare mothers for what may be coming there way. They dont talk enough about pain, about terrible pain, about despaire, about the shock that can cause if you’ve only been expecting “hard work” or “doable pain.” I feel very lied to and confused. how could the natural birth community let that happen to me? How could they still be smiling at me saying “yay! you did it!” I feel terrible. I believe int eh natural birth benefits for my baby. But good recovery? empowering feeling? feeling in control? Enjoying the birth? Nope. Not one of them came my way. Sad . . .:( I’m sad. and confused. very confused. Dont understand you all. I want another natural birth for my baby, but I would like to enjoy giving birth, not feel so shell shocked afterwards. I wish more women had been more honest with me about what was coming. I feel like sugar coating birth is one of the greatest disservices to women.

By: Emma

Emma — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 16:30:50 +0000

You know, I see the facts that you have given and assume that they are completely valid. But, I think the biggest thing I’m dealing with in your article is that regardless of where you have your baby, its the fact that a midwife is with you instead of a standard hospital doctor that seems to be making the difference.

As for the pain meds, c-section decision, forceps, etc – Can you not ask your midwife (or even doctor from a hospital) to NOT use these based on your decision? In which case being at a hospital may be better in case of an ‘emergent-situation’?

I am trying not to sound defensive, mean, critical etc but am trying to get the full understanding.

I get that being at home may be more comfortable, but what about the question of ‘what if’? What if something critical were to happen at home that could be easier to fix at a hospital?

By: Joyanna

Joyanna — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 16:07:03 +0000

Right on! Thank you!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 19 May 2011 06:39:14 +0000

Emily, There are ways to find a middle ground like you are describing. One is a great birth center. Another is giving birth with a midwife in a hotel room next to a hospital.
Great article btw!!!

“”"Emily
April 7, 2010 at 12:55 am
I struggle with the polarization of the two “sides”-those for home birth and those for hospital birth. For me, they both seemed too radical. I wanted to be able to have a natural, home birth like atmosphere with the best medical interventions available next door if needed. If it exists in my area, I couldn’t find it. In the end I had a natural birth at the hospital. It was the most excruciatingly brutal experience and I had horrible complications afterwards. I felt cheated by those (Ricki Lake, anyone) who championed natural birth and also questioned whether my natural birth was horrible because I was in a hospital. I long for the day that there are more than the two choices–radically natural and radically medical–but I fear it will not be in time for my next birth experience.”"”

By: Navigating the BBH Blog - A Road Map | Bring Birth Home

Navigating the BBH Blog - A Road Map | Bring Birth Home — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 16:12:28 +0000

[...] Home Birth – Brave Has Nothing To Do With It – a guest post [...]

By: Chelle

Chelle — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 18:00:58 +0000

I’m so glad I was in the hospital because… my appendix was on its way out, my gallbladder was overflowing with stones and my pancreas was infected and my temperature was up to 104 degrees and I was covered in hives. At that point, the first thing that needed to be “fixed” was my being pregnant and successful induction was priority #1 (a c/s would have set back my surgery by at least a week and that wasn’t acceptable). I guess I am in that 10% who actually had a medically necessary induction but it still makes me sensitive on the topic. Not every induction is an act of pure evil.

Assuming that a mother who chooses a hospital birth has not done her research is just as wrong as someone assuming that your choice to homebirth was brave.

By: Preparing for Natural Hospital Birth vs. Home Birth | Bring Birth Home

Preparing for Natural Hospital Birth vs. Home Birth | Bring Birth Home — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 16:04:25 +0000

[...] A common comment, (sometimes a broken record) those planning on giving birth at home, or have birthed at home, hear is “you’re so brave!” [...]

By: Karen McMinn

Karen McMinn — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 14:49:58 +0000

What a brilliant article! We had our five children at home – the first in 1979 – we were considered crazy then! Seems not a lot has changed!! Our children’s ages now add up to over one hundred and thirty five years – and still they have never seen inside a doctors office!!

By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 17:39:12 +0000

I LOVE this article, and am about to share it on my Facebook page! I am planning a home birth right now for baby #3 (the first two were planned birth center births, with #2 being successful and #1 being a transfer for post-dates) and just the other day my husband’s boss remarked that I was brave to be planning a home birth. He thought that was strange since she is German, and in Germany where both her children were born, there is a far greater focus on natural birth even in hospitals, so it’s not that she would likely be someone who would think she needed a full cart of interventions just to survive it. Yet even to her, uninfluenced by the American medical establishment as she may be, home birth is considered brave.

I actually take no offense to this. I just find it erroneous. When I was a hospital transfer with my first, I was scared to death with each successive intervention (I had pitocin, monitors of all kinds, and even very late in the game, an epidural. It was so bad, but it was that or a c-section, so I took the epidural.) I remember looking at my mom and my midwife, and saying, “Really? What more can they do? There are no good options left for me…” after about 20 hours of it. It really was like torture. I cannot imagine that Guantanamo Bay has anything worse than the interventions inherent to hospital birth.

With my second, as I labored unassisted at home, prior to going to the birth center just in time to push, I wasn’t scared at all. I felt great, in some control of the situation, strong, and well… just plain a-ok. It wasn’t scary at home. It felt great. It really wasn’t scary at the birth center either (and funny enough, people told me I was brave for that one, too.) I just felt like everything was fine. I had a very talented midwife to help me through the whole thing. I knew she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me or my son, and she didn’t. At home, I will have the same thing (although not the same midwife. We’re stationed somewhere else now.)

I do not think I am brave to birth at home. I think it would take more courage for me to go back to a hospital. I would probably have panic attacks the whole way if I had to do that. Hospital birth… now THAT’S brave.

By: Rae

Rae — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 15:27:23 +0000

We, too, chose a homebirth for our daughter, and we feel that it was the best for us. My close cousin had reciently had a hospital birth before we had our baby (her son is six months older than our daughter) and her experience at the hospital in our area soured us. 1 – the hospital staff never asked her medical history, which would have told them that one of the pain meds they had given her would make her halusinate, 2 – they left her in her room for three hours, completely unnassisted, while she was pushing, 3 – she told them she wanted her mom in there with her, but because her husband was already in there, they would not let her mom join them, 4 – the nurses whispered to the OB on call that she (my cousin) was ‘not complying’ because she had said (but not actually did it) that she felt like she needed to sit up, 5 – she was in labor for so long, she got exhausted, and ended up with a cesaran because basically…nobody was helping her. So why, oh, why would I want to give birth there? Oh, and this was not the first case of bad staffing and doctoring stories I have heard. (All first hand accounts of my friends babies, 5 of which were born in that hospital).