A Letter to First Time Moms – Was There Life Before Baby?

8 Comments 22 September 2010

Dear first time moms,

You’ve given birth to a child. A whole new human being.

No matter where you gave birth or how, this simple fact of life – childbearing – is nothing short of a miracle. You created a life, housed that life and now your child is real in your very presence.

Happy Baby Moon (as it’s called)!

You have never known such a love! Though. the. roof. Isn’t it amazing?

It is.

Motherhood…having a child, is priceless.

But soon, if not already, challenges will arise.

From night-time feedings to inconsolable tears, your patience will be tried.

You may feel overwhelmed, frustrated and tired.

I’m writing this letter today to tell you that those feelings come up. It’s totally normal.

And these human (because significant other may very well be feeling the same) emotions you might encounter include a time of grief for the loss of life that was yours before baby.

The thought might come in a fleeting moment when you’re looking through old photos, driving to the grocery store or finding less time or desire to sleep with your partner.

You think back to the you that you once were. It’s normal to miss that life. To wonder about what might have been.

Thinking these thoughts/feeling this way does not mean you love your baby any less. No way. You don’t need that kind of guilt.

What you do need is to feel it out. Think about what could have been.

In my case, whenever I’ve thought about what course my life could have taken, I am always brought back to the understanding that every thing lead up to now.

And besides, what was there before this?

Look down at that precious little piece of pure love and magic. Could anything be more perfect? Could any feature be more adorable?

Well, the answer is yes, actually.

Yes, it just keeps getting better and better.

Every day, through obstacles and learning curves, there is a bliss hidden in the sweet moments when your child first notices his hands. Or when your little girl calls, “mama!” from across the room.

Was there life before baby?


But nothing compares to this.

Your Comments

8 Comments so far

  1. dearani says:

    i cried! you are a fantastic momma, and a fantastic friend to more women than you can know. :) thank you so much!

  2. Emma Someone says:

    Thank you for some wise words – it’s something I struggle with at the moment!

  3. Jessica says:

    Beautiful and true! Thanks for sharing!!

  4. Charlotte says:

    Totally teared up. My baby is 8 weeks old. Thanks for this post!

  5. Christie says:

    Very touching post. I am sure I’m not the only one that needs to hear all of that sometimes. Thank you.

  6. Karen T says:

    Oooh, needed that today, thankyou!!!


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