Home Birth Advocacy, Motherhood

The Too Good Home Birth Blues

19 Comments 19 April 2012

I just had my baby.
Yeah, I gave birth at home…
I didn’t need nobody,
I did it on my own.

I was triumphant!
Midwife saw it in my eye.
I was feeling so proud…
now all I want to do is cry.

‘Cus I got the blues…
the I had too good’a home birth blues.

Had it all under control - things were going so well.
Then my toddler went a stir crazy
and the juggling balls all fell.

My honey went back to work.
And grandma did too…
suddenly I’m overrun -
outnumbered by the two.

And now I’m singin’ the blues.
I musta had too good’a home birth blues.

The older one is acting up.
It’s getting to my head
I want to take my newborn
and spend the day in bed.

They said the birth went real good,
And I agree!
But I need takin’ care of too.
Don’t forget I just had a baby!

Now I’m singin’ the blues.

My doula says “better sit down”
you’ll be payin’ for it tonight.
When I finally got the chance to rest,
oh boy was she right.

Damn, I got blues,
Had such a beautiful home birth too.

Oh me, oh my,
I got some microwaved entrees.
But no one is here to wait on me -
I haven’t sat down nearly all day.

I only wanted a babymoon.
Was that too much to ask?
It’s been a week already -
Time goes by so fast!

I’ve got the blues.
The I had too good’a  home birth blues.

I gave birth too good I guess,
no one can see I’m really a mess.

I got the blues.
The I had too good’a home birth blues.

Even with the most beautiful of home birth experiences, mothers can still feel let down or depressed after birth. If you know someone who has given birth at home, do what you can to provide support. Don’t assume that just because a mother looks great, that she feels great. 

Your Comments

19 Comments so far

  1. meggiemoo says:

    Perfect! And sooo true. I brought some of this on myself…I felt really good at first after my 2nd birth (homebirth) and needed to get out of the house. I went to Target 2 days later and was leaning on my cart like an old woman because I had pulled all of my back muscles when I was pushing. My midwife was SO mad when she found out I had left the house.

  2. bringbirthhome says:

    Oh my goodness! I would have been upset with you had I been your midwife too! Two days?! Lordy lady. Tisk, tisk. But I do know how it feels to get stir crazy. Just gotta park it on the couch or in bed, (if you can) and let your body get back to normal!

  3. Stephanie Fox says:

    Love this! And WOW can I relate. By the third home birth I felt forgotten about except for one sweet friend. Thank you, Kaitlin :-)

  4. Joe says:

    I love it!!! I wonder why we sometimes have inappropriate expectations for a woman who has just given birth. Maybe it’s because we quickly forget what the birthing time is like. Or maybe because it is such an extraordinary moment that we might overlook the demands of birth by running our normal scripts. Doesn’t birth require a very specific mindset? Maybe even a certain bodyset. I made that word up…bodyset…a physical state of being. I have noticed that mommy and daddy hormones are truly unique during the birthing time…

    …I have got these hormones
    That are makin me think
    That I don’t know what I am doin
    All my thoughts start to stink

    I am runnin in circles
    My thoughts in a loop
    So I cut em half
    To make bluesy soup

    Wait! I’ve heard this before
    On Bring Birth Home’s news
    That it’s possible to have
    Too good’a homebirth blues

  5. Linda Knight says:

    After my 4th home birth in 1989, I had the blues so bad I was almost suicidal. Even with the joy and sense of miraculous that comes with all births, hormones and circumstances do have a way of giving us the blues. Thanks for your sensitive and humorous way of explaining the feelings for home birthers (and their families), since we often feel that we have to be above the norm to “justify” our decision to give birth at home.

  6. Danielle Greason says:

    You’re a legend Kaitlin! So, so, sooooo good!

  7. Tammie says:

    There always seems to be a bitter-sweet ending to birth. You prepare 9 months for the perfect birth; for the perfect newborn….and then reality sets in! And sometimes those blues hit pretty pickin’ hard.

    Your song hits the nail on the head! GOOD JOB!

  8. Lynda says:

    I get this! I SO get this! I had the blues really bad after my second. I think it comes from having a homebirth. All your friends and family see how strong you are, how you don’t need their help with the birth, and they all just assume that you don’t need them afterwards either. I think it also comes from the medical mainstream, where women have birth without feeling a thing, and pop pain meds afterwards, and are (expected to be) back on their feet pronto. It’s sad. With my first and my third, I had tons of down-time, sitting at home, nursing, getting back to myself (or as close as you can after having a baby). With baby #2, the baby blues and the complete lack of support were two of the contributing factors to my failure to breastfeed my son. My milk dried up, and without realizing it, I actually starved my son for two months – a contributing factor, I’ve been discovering, in why he today has Autism. Moms, and everyone around moms, are susceptible to the belief system that moms are super-women, and can do everything on their own, especially homebirthers. But, while we ARE super-strong, we are still just human, and we have just done something extremely physically taxing, and we need recovery time. To get our babymoons, ladies, we need to make sure we have a support group/system in place BEFORE we give birth. Have family and friends make freeze now, cook later meals; have friends and family help with older siblings, do light housework/laundry, run errands, even just come for a visit. Have it all planned, agreed-on, and set-up before the birth, and the babymoon will go SO much better for momma! With #3, hubby was great, family and friends helped with laundry and watching the older two, and my oldest (who was 10 at the time) was fantastic at (helping hubby with) the cooking and cleaning! Of course, I still had the baby blues a bit, and still don’t really feel like myself yet, and #3 is 16 mon old! Oh well, such is life! BTW, Kaitlin, I LOVE your song – fantastic! Of course, I love all your work – posts, newsletters, etc. Keep up the great work! <3

    • bringbirthhome says:

      Oh Lynda, yes – you hit the nail on the head. I’m sorry to hear of your unfortunate experience with #2. Glad you got some more support this time around! Hugs!

  9. Liz Oldham says:

    Love this Kaitlin! You have such a soothing voice :) So happy you sang this instead of posting only!
    Liz

  10. Heidi says:

    Great Job! TOO true!! I’m a doula and I just had my 4th baby at home (2nd hb).
    She’s only 5 weeks old and THIS SONG IS MY LIFE!!
    My mom left and my hubby thinks I’ve “bounced back so great!”
    All I wanna do is sleep :o )

  11. Evie says:

    You are so awesome. I love every minute and every lyric of it!

  12. julie michel says:

    you speak, or should i say sing, for many of us…past present and future~thanks for your insight and information <3 LEAD ON!!


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