About a month ago, one of our computers died.
Since then, it’s been like sharing one mug between two coffee lovers.
But in our case it’s even more difficult than that.
See, Eric works online. I mean, that’s how he brings home the bacon. It’s how we get the groceries, put gas in the car…you know what I’m sayin.
So how can I possibly ask for a bit of “Facebook time” each day?
If I’m lucky, I get to carve out a little time here or there after I put Ella to bed or first thing in the morning.
The bulk of my email/blogging time is allotted for Tuesday and Thursday mornings at Grandma’s house. Ella is upstairs dancing. Grandma is clapping along.
I have to say, as much as I miss having instant access to a computer of my own, it has been as much of a relief as a pain in the ass.
Don’t get me wrong, I miss my BBH folks and the entire birth community.
But what I don’t miss one inkling of a bit is stepping to the computer for a second to “check in” on random FB notifications.
I don’t miss sitting around waiting for something to happen.
I don’t miss the feeling of need to stay on top of my game online.
The internet moves at a very fast pace. And as a young mom with a year and a half old who just started napping less and running around more, I simply don’t have the time to be in the know 24/7.
Not having a computer is a great excuse not to be “on” all the time.
Instead of waiting until Ella goes down for her nap so I can write a quick email, I’m laying down with her (and not feeling guilty about it like I did before).
“But but but…
I don’t want Bring Birth Home to die on the vine!”
What if people stop emailing? What if they stop sharing their stories? What if BBH becomes old news?
Am I turning my back on all the friends and fans Bring Birth Home has acquired over the past year? I can’t do that!
These thoughts come.
I worry. I fret. I whine to Eric about how much I need a computer…
Then I remember there must a lesson to be learned.
There is a reason why my computer died.
It was a sign.
And while pondering the reason, a voice in the gut of my being (my soul voice, not my mind voice) said:
“What is more important is being a super mom to Ella, not an online celebrity.”
All I could think to say back to myself was “you’re right” (as hard as it was to admit).
When I came to the understanding that there is a season for all things, and what I have created at Bring Birth Home will never die, I felt a lightness and an inner shift of focus.
I enlisted guest bloggers at Bring Birth Home.
More than a dozen awesome ladies showed interest. They’re wonderful and super interested in seeing BBH continue to provide information to natural-minded mamas.
As I mentioned in my last blog post, I began the journey of actively pursuing other interests of mine.
I had been making bread, and a little over a week ago I began selling loaves of bread to neighbors, family and friends. It’s been really fun and rewarding. Check out the little site I created about this endeavor at Rose’s Organic Kitchen.
The really nice thing about making bread is that I don’t have to be on the computer to do it! And while it rises, I can read to Ella, one of her all time favorite activities.
This update is really all about living, learning and self-discovery.
It’s as much of an update to me as I write it as it is to update you.
There are so many things I want to do. So many passions I’d like to explore. I’m learning, albeit sometimes through frustration and stubbornness that all things come in their own time.
Thanks for reading!