Motherhood

The Imperfect Day

13 Comments 20 May 2012

Hi, my name is Kaitlin Rose, and I am not perfect.

That’s how I felt yesterday.

And I want to share why because I realize I often paint a beautiful, unscathed picture of my life.

I don’t write whiny or depressed Facebook status updates. I rarely delve deep in conversation with fellow mom friends about the things that irk me. I’d rather stay positive. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have crappy days. I DO.

Yesterday was one of them.

First off, I forgot to grab a package to send to a friend on the way out the door. I remembered 15 minutes down the road and was already running late, so I couldn’t go back to pick it up. Since it was Saturday, I’ll have to wait to send it until tomorrow. That bummed me out.

Then, after finishing my coffee, I stupidly sat coffee mug between my left leg and the door. When I opened the car door, it fell out and broke. Man! I loved that to-go mug!

We were driving into town for a few reasons – one was  to sell a vintage guitar I’d put up on Craigslist. I realized when I got there that I’d made a crucial mistake: I didn’t have the guy’s phone number. And of course he didn’t show. What I didn’t realize was that he had emailed me the night before saying he couldn’t make it. That’s what I get for NOT checking my email first thing in the morning! Waiting around in the parking lot for 20 minutes wasn’t fun for any of us. My bad.

After the failed sale, we drove another 30 minutes deeper into town to attend an unschooling/homeschooling meeting/open-house. It was a complete dud. SO not our thing. Not impressed, and with a gas tank near empty, we headed back toward home feeling completely defeated. And I have to mention, it was 80 degrees outside. Hot and cranky is not a good combination for anyone!

Stopped at the Farmers Market for asparagus and saw some friends, who – thank god – brightened my day. Gave me a bit of hope to finish the day.

Riding home, I realized I had forgotten yet another task – to go carseat shopping. WTH? How could I have forgotten to do that? My friend is due to have a baby anywhere between 2-4 weeks and we need to give her infant car seat back, trade Ella’s to Lucan and get a new toddler car seat for her. <slap the forehead>

The rest of the day wasn’t actually that bad. At all.

We gardened, went to Ella’s cousin Jack’s birthday party, and arrived home just in time to get bathed and go to sleep.

Only, I couldn’t sleep.

As exhausting as the day had been, emotionally and physically, I was still swimming in the turmoil of a wrecked day. I have a tendency to hang on to feelings, good or bad.

I sat down on the couch with a carrot stick, wishing it was a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, wanting to write. How could I turn the day around by seeing some lesson learned? How could I change my perspective?

Oh forget it! It was still to fresh. I was still too raw. And one final word of constructive criticism from Eric on his way to bed was the last the I needed.

So, instead of write, instead of editing my ebook like I should have been doing, I parked my rear end on the couch and watched two back to back episodes of Modern Family. It was great. I even laughed a little!

Thanks for reading this post.  It felt good to get this out, especially since I rarely complain (publicly at least!).

I’m sitting on the deck as I write this. Geese are swimming with their babies across the lake, and some guy is slowly circling the shore with a rowboat.

If I could learn anything from yesterday, it would be this: there’s always tomorrow. Today will be a better day.

Your Comments

13 Comments so far

  1. Kate D says:

    Thank you for sharing!
    I love your positivity though, and I am working on this myself, to try to be more positive (publicly on FB and otherwise! ha!)
    I have found it helpful when I need to vent to write emails to myself, it feels much better to get it out- and yet not necessarily share my ‘down times’ with others… Oh and I am having one of ‘those’ days today… although tomorrow will be better.

    • bringbirthhome says:

      Thanks Kate. I try to be positive because I know how I speak to myself impacts how I perceive everything. It’s so important for our inner-talk to ourselves gently, and with love. I’ll say though, it always feels great to say, “I feel like crap and today was crap!” The release is important too. Hope your day gets better!

  2. Alyssa says:

    I can definitely appreciate this post! Thank you for writing it. When I have my own imperfect days, I feel like I’m the only one who these things happen to. I don’t want people to have days like this, but it makes me feel normal.

  3. Marnee says:

    I really wanted to go to that workshop/open-house but could not because of a scheduling conflict. I am kind of interested in hearing why it was a dud.

  4. Rosie Peterson says:

    Yup, Can so relate! the forgotten package, the broken mug, the forgotten phone number, the missed email and a forgotten shopping stop – this sounds like my life! This happens to other people too? To you? No way!

    Thank you for writing real. ♥

    • bringbirthhome says:

      Thank you for this comment Rosie, and you’re welcome! I’m really glad I wrote this post today. Have a good one!

  5. Stephanie Fox says:

    Had a day like this a few days ago! I really thought that I was the only person who has wreck days! lol!! I didn’t break my favorite mug but I chipped the bottom against the sink and this was after forgetting to buy coffee to put in it…. you know how it goes. Have a great day, Kaitlin :)

  6. jordan says:

    Let me know if you do find any sort of home-school thing in Kalamazoo area that seems more your speed. I keep encountering homeschooling that is totally centered on religious beliefs. Not my speed.

  7. grandma julie says:

    oh my, dont we all have those days=usually a monday for me. by the end of the day i either wanna sleep it away or laugh at the damage done…so many things to learn in a day and some things we need to be ‘taught’ over and over :) but its never wasted cause there is always a lesson or a love along the way~its those crappy days that make the calm quiet ones so special :D

  8. Jantil Moon says:

    Hi Kaitlin,
    I really appreciate your being so open and honest in this post. I’ve always greatly admired your positivity and motivation, I find it very inspiring even though we are separate sides of an ocean! The thought had crossed my mind though that you were some kind of ‘Stepford Super-mom’ that never got bogged down or grouchy.. glad to see we’re not entirely different after all! :)

    Kind regards, The Grouch ;0)


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