Today was our first visit with our midwife and we heard the heartbeat. I would love to share more about the experience, but honestly this picture sums it all up.
For this update, I would like to share with you something that I wrote in my pregnancy journal last night.
Here’s a little information to set the stage:
I wanted to get some advice about worry and fear during pregnancy, so I broke out my trusty ‘ole Birthing From Within book and did some light reading. I ended up engrossed in ideas for a blessingway before laying the book down to write in my journal.
I hesitated. What to write…where to begin?
Well, just start! Write! So I did. Here is what I wrote:
I am surprised at the nervousness I feel about dealing with pain during labor and childbirth.
When you don’t know what to expect, it’s easy not to feel nervous – what exactly would you be nervous about?
But now I know. I know birth is hard and painful work.
Or…at least I should say…I know my labor with Ella was hard, painful and long.
However, (breakthrough moment!) how do I know what this birth will be like?
I had back labor with Ella, and she was stuck cockeyed for nearly half of the labor, not to mention it was the first time my body had ever opened!!
Wow, so my next birth could be completely different. Who knows? No two births are the same, not from woman to woman or birth to birth.
Some women experience painless, even orgasmic birth. Perhaps instead of focusing on how painful labor and birthing can be, I should shift my attention and focus to the possibility of having an estatic birth.
Yes, that is what I will do!
STRONG MAMA! (followed by a drawing of a woman flexing her arms)
That is all it took.
I feel SO much better.
Which is not to say that some of my worries, anxieties and fears won’t return. I’m sure I will have my moments.
But I was reminded of how I felt during my first pregnancy while I was writing that journal entry. I wasn’t experiencing a “blind faith.” It was as conscious. I was choosing positivity above fear. I was focusing my energy and attention on having a beautiful experience.
And I’m going to do same this time.
Wishing you a positive journey!