If there was one thing I couldn’t stand while pregnant with my first, it was the warnings I received from “well-wishers” about how much my life was about to change.
Only one thing would have bothered me more: strangers touching/rubbing my belly without asking. I must have had a “touch me and die” look on my face when people got near, because no one dared (haha!).
The nicest thing someone can say when hearing news of pregnancy is “congratulations!”
And if there needs to be more said, let something else positive follow.
What bothers me is the negative tone that can be associated with this statement, like a warning. As if saying, “expect to give up life as you knew it and not have any freedom or fun for a long time.”
The funny thing is, people follow up by saying, “but having children is the greatest!”
Smooth recovery. Not.
Why not skip all that and simply say, “your life is going to change in the most beautiful way you’ve ever imagined!” All in one sentence. No dramatic, eyebrow-raised pause.
How I felt becoming a mother.
Giving birth at home and becoming a mother has been the most rewarding, satisfying and surprisingly enjoyable event of my life thus far.
Yes, having a child (and children) changes things. But what was my life before this? I didn’t have a thriving career. I was waiting tables and smoking cigarettes (both of which I quit abruptly).
Becoming pregnant and having a child taught me how to love myself, how to live in the moment, what it means to have patience and how to give without want.
Now with number 2 on the way, I’m hearing similar comments that make me shudder…and always right at those moments when my daughter is having a tantrum.
“ready for another one?” <insert scary, dramatic music here>
What about saying nothing during those times, (which of course make me want to scream ‘NO! What have I done! I can’t believe I’m going to have a newborn and raise a toddler at the same time!’) and saying something sweet and supportive while my daughter is happily playing on the floor with her doll house?
I want to daydream about
holding a peaceful sleeping newborn in my arms while my daughter colors at the table.
Or the three of us falling asleep in the afternoon after a long morning of playing outside. Let me hang on to those lovely thoughts. Remind me of them when I start to panic.
The uncomfortable scenarios that I mentioned do tick me off in the moment, but they are also useful.
They serve as a guide for how I don’t want to focus my energy. So I suppose in the end…I’m grateful for the lesson they teach (between gritting my teeth of course). <wink>