*This is loosely based on a true story, but not entirely true, yet altogether realistic. Names have been changed.
Ashley is 38 weeks pregnant with her 4th.
They’re planning a home birth. Yay! Her and her husband can’t wait.
There is a problem – a bit of a sticky situation with mother-in-law.
She wants to attend the home birth, but her and her husband don’t want her there. And they haven’t told her that yet. (and Ashley’s at 38 weeks!)
Keep reading for the details, and hopefully by the end, you can post your comment with advice for how to handle this situation.
Mother-in-law was a labor and delivery nurse for years. She believes she knows everything about anything considered a medical issue. And she thinks birth is a medical issue.
It was tough when Ashley and her husband told Mother-in-law they were having a home birth this time around.
The first thing she did was ask her son why he wasn’t scared.
Then she proceeded to give her son a lesson on how he should/would have to pull the placenta out! Of all things. (weird, eh)
Mother-in-law knows Ashley has a midwife and doula.
There are some unresolved feeling between Mother-in-law and Ashley and her husband (son).
For starters, Ashley can’t understand why Mother-in-law doesn’t want to learn anything about how “normal birth” works.
Mother-in-law had her feelings hurt at Ashley’s last hospital birth, and wound up storming off in a fuss.
It was a weird scene. Mother-in-law actually tied up the OB’s gown and gave him a back rub right before he was to catch Ashley’s baby. They hadn’t even met one another before. Ashley’s husband attempted to gently ask his mom to back off, but she got upset. Mother-in-law defensively stated that she knew what she was doing because she had worked in Labor and Delivery for so many years.
Crazy logic, eh?!
It gets worse…
Mother-in-law has dragged Ashley’s mother into the equation.
Ashley’s mom will be attending the birth at Ashley and her husband’s request. She has been with Ashley for all of her previous three births. Ashley’s mom has had two babies at home, one unassisted.
Mother-in-law has contacted Ashley’s mom, and asked to ride with her to the birth. She has asked repeatedly without a response.
Ashley and her husband have to tell Mother-in-law that they don’t want her there, but how?
Mother-in-law is sensitive, defensive and self centered. She refuses to listen or reason, and surely doesn’t get the hints.
Ashley and her husband fear that she may not even come see the baby afterward if they handle this wrong.
Leave your comment below:
What would you suggest?
How does Ashley and her husband gently let Mother-in-law know she is not invited to the birth, but very welcome baby is born?