Reconnecting To My Dream

3 Comments 15 June 2012

Longer days, warm weather and independence of children in full bloom. The perfect recipe to connect with life offline. I haven’t been on the  computer much, and don’t plan to be. Here’s what I’ve been up to, and my plans for this season.

Summer has finally arrived in Michigan. We planted our vegetable garden and taught Ella how to water the plants, which she does each morning (and she usually gets wet right along with them).

I began taking horse riding lessons again after an eight year hiatus. Dreaming of my most-loved creatures was becoming too painful to bear. Action was beyond want. I needed horses back in my life. The moment I stepped back into the barn, a wave of emotion crashed over me so powerfully it made my eyes water. The smells, sounds, giant faces peeking out to greet me; I felt like I finally returned home.

Ella and Lucan have accompanied me to the barn and Ella in particular has a growing affection for horses, sheep dogs and barn cats. I’m overjoyed to share it with her. She cant’ wait for the chance to climb up on a pony someday - tentatively set for when she’s 5.

When I was a little girl, my dream life = owning my own horse some day. Somewhere in my late teen years, I lost a lot of hope in goals and escaped (got lost) the life I’d always known for something more wild, free and rebellious. It wasn’t a great time in my life, but I learned a lot.

Thankfully, I’ve come around full-circle. The home births of my children, (Ella’s home birth story & Lucan’s home birth story) really helped with that. Before becoming pregnant with Ella, I was still causing my body a lot of harm (smoking, drinking, staying up too late partying, etc.). I am much more in touch with my true essence these days – taking care of my body, mind and soul by living intentionally (and drinking my green juice!).

I’m a thinker. So when I stepped foot into that barn, and then a step further, when I rode for the first time again, I knew what I had to do. I thought long and hard and the answer was clear. I had to create my dream life for myself. I said it outloud: I will train to become the best rider I can be, fill my brain with knowledge about horse care and I WILL OWN A HORSE in less than 10 years.

Part of my plan to get there includes equine photography. Just received my business cards in the mail yesterday! I’m also beginning an apprenticeship in dressage training with a local accomplished trainer and rider next week. I’ll also be taking photographs for her new website. Beyond thrilled. All of this will be documented and shared through KaitlinRoseBlog.com (currently under construction).

If you’re wondering where the advocacy of natural pregnancy and empowered birth fits into the picture, I’ll tell you…

Eric and I have decided, (for now – we’re not making anything permanent) not to have more children. With that door (mostly) closed, I’ve naturally moved on to other interests in life. It’s hard to write about pregnancy and birth when you’re not in it. 

Knowing this, The 9 Steps to Home Birth Prep ebook has been a great “end of the chapter” for me right now. For the time being, I’ve done and said just about everything there is to say about birth within this site (but be prepared if you talk to me on the phone or see me on the street – I can talk for HOURS about birth!).

It feels really good knowing that I have done my part in creating a space in the world where families can come to learn more and feel inspired about giving birth at home. I have accomplished what I set out to do two years ago by founding and constructing this site. We’re on the first page for the search  terms “Home Birth Preparation“, “Home Birth Stories“, and “Birth Art.”

<grateful, happy sigh>

I am also grateful that I have learned how to trust in myself enough to know which path to walk down when I encounter a fork in the road. There is always more work to do in the birth world, and I know if I dug in the recesses of my gut I could pull out much more energy to pour into the cause. But my heart is calling me in a different direction, one that I have to follow – or else!

This site isn’t going anywhere, and I will continue to write here when I feel called. I will also continue posting birth stories and accepting guest posts.

All my love, respect and gratitude for your readership, support and encouragement ~

Kaitlin Rose


Your Comments

3 Comments so far

  1. You go with your bad self! I love following my dreams and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Hugs. Gratitude. Love. I am thinking about super awesome good times in the saddle for you :)

    xoxo joe

  2. Ferina says:

    Hi Kaitlin! I love horses and I feel you when you said
    “Dreaming of my most-loved creatures was becoming too painful to bear. Action was beyond want. I needed horses back in my life.”

    It’s been a year almost two years since I rode on the back of my loves! I’m also into photography and I seem to can’t get a hang of awesome equine photos. Would you mind sharing your advice on how you do it? I saw your photos and they are amazing! Plus the horses are amazing too.



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